Picture of the Week - 12/26/2019

So this is the last POTW message I will write this year.  It's also the last message I will write this decade.  Wow!

If there were ever a time to stop and do a little reflection, it's got to be now, am I right?

I was thinking the other day about these messages.  To be honest, I was also dwelling on the fact that my "recipient list" has shrunk a lot over the years.  Back in the early days I sent these little weekly broadcasts out to a lot more people.  I suppose things may have been more interesting at the beginning than they are now.  We were adding babies to the family.  We were dealing with healthcare diagnosis and surgeries and appointment updates.  We were able to share a wide variety of cute things that adorable toddlers and preschoolers do on the regular.  Teenagers are slightly less cute.

These days, we are settled into the business of raising a family.  Our world is so very different at the end of this decade than it was at the end of the last one.  Late in 2009 we had just completed the process of rocking our whole world by adding a new baby to our established little family.  That wasn't a particularly easy transition, if I'm being honest.  But goodness gracious I can't even imagine having made a different decision.  We would most certainly be different people if Zane (and eventually Beckett) hadn't joined our family.  Different isn't always better.  In this case, it's certainly not.

In 2009 we were still able to manage the sports practice schedule without calling in reinforcements and we still took entire months off without obligations to some coach or another.  These days, we are tied to a calendar and to the practice and tournament schedules given to us from a variety of different coaches - times 4.  It's definitely a busier lifestyle than we had back when I started writing these little messages.  Bob and I laugh often about how young couples without kids talk about how busy they are and how tired they are because we know what's coming.  Today we know we need to go to bed early.  We know when to save energy and how to prioritize both our time and the never-ending To-Do lists.  My house/yard/job is always in need of something.  My boys almost never are...  feels like a good balance for today.

At the end of the last decade I was halfway through my time at the job where I learned to be a product manager.  It was a time of push and pull for me for sure.  I was busy growing babies and growing my career at the same time and, in hindsight, probably also taking a bunch of things for granted that I shouldn't have been so blind to.  At the end of this decade I think I can safely say that I have matured enough to know where my priorities should be and am on a journey to make sure I treat these things with the importance they deserve.  Goodness knows I'm not perfect and I know this thing we call life is more a journey than a destination.  Shame it's taken me 45 years to figure out that the goal is to enjoy the ride instead of waiting on the goal line.

I'm estimating here, but I guess that I've sent somewhere around 885 of these weekly email messages.  17 years x 52 weeks (plus a few months in 2002 minus a very few weeks here and there where I missed a week).  885 of anything is a lot.  For me to ask you all to come along with me on this journey and to take time out of your week 885 times seems a tremendous imposition.  And yet, it is also one of the greatest gifts you could have given me.  To know that there are people out there following along with our little family who care enough to read these ramblings from time to time provides an (often) invisible umbrella of support to me that I couldn't be more thankful for as I look back over the last 10 years and look forward to the next 10.  

Thank you for your love and support over the years.  Thank you for caring about me and my family enough to spare us some of your valuable time - and your more valuable thoughts and prayers!  You are appreciated and you are loved.

My wish for all of you as we move into this next decade is that you will find gratitude in the everyday-ness of everyday.  That you will feel love and light pouring into you from everyone you encounter - but especially from those you love and care for in return.  And that you will be happy and healthy and have all you need through today, tomorrow and the next decade.  I hope you are all still reading along with my story in 2029 when I will (God willing) have 2 boys off in the world and 2 more working through the joys of high school.  If you are looking for me at any time over the next 10 years, check the local gymnasium's tournament schedule.  I'll probably be there...

Thank you!  God bless!  Have a super happy New Year!!

Picture of the Week - 12/19/2019

Next week is Christmas!!!  Who's excited???  I can't wait!

This is the first year in a really long time that I haven't had an extended break/vacation around Christmas/New Year.  It dawns on me that I haven't shared a job-related update with the POTW since I announced that I had lost my old job.  So here's the update...  I got a new job.  :)

While I continue to be bothered (really hurt is probably a better word) about how things ended at Craneware, I really couldn't have asked for a better exit strategy from the situation there than what ended up happening.  It really was (and continues to be) an answered prayer.  

The job hunt is not fun for me.  I'm sure there are personality types out there who love the thrill of the hunt.  They do it without tying too much of the process to themselves and are probably healthier than I am (mentally) because of it.  For me, the uncertainty of not knowing what was going to happen was just awful.  I hated it.  I hated it a lot!

Looking at the situation from the outside, it's probably hard to understand why I hated going through it.  We were not in financial trouble.  The job search net I threw out was very small (and I could certainly have widened it if/when needed.)  And while every encounter didn't result in a positive outcome, the VAST majority of activities I completed during the job hunt ended in success.  I honestly really only had one result that was really disappointing to me - and in hindsight even that was exactly what needed to happen.  And during all of this, I was not working and basically doing what I wanted - during the nicest part of the Atlanta weather-year.

I ended up with the first job I applied for - which is not the way these things normally go!  A bit of background...  going into the WAY BACK machine.

When Bob and I were first starting our careers (a good 20 years ago now - ouch) Bob landed at ADP and I went to work for a small 300 person .com company.  We both grew and matured and moved up in our organizations.  We joked a lot that the personality of a .com company (fast, loose, chaotic) fit Bob more than me and the conservative, stoic nature of a 60k employee company like ADP was really more aligned to my preferences.  It sorta become obvious about 3 years in (this is 17 years ago if you don't want to work the math out...) that someday I should try to get a job at ADP.  

And ADP jobs have been on my radar ever since.  It's just never really been the right time.  

I left Optio after 7+ years and went to work for a healthcare software company which set my career direction for years to come.  In the 5+ years I was there I learned how to be a product manager and grew a huge network of people.  From there I bounced a couple of times - sticking in the healthcare software niche.  The move to Craneware in 2015 was utilizing my network of colleagues, sticking close to home from a market perspective, and something that felt like it could be a good opportunity.  All of the companies I have worked for were small and all of them have had issues.  (Aside, ALLLLLLLL companies have problems...  I know there isn't a perfect work place out there!)  Little did I realize when I joined Craneware that in addition to providing me with some amazing opportunities to travel and learn and continue to build my professional network, I was also walking into a pretty toxic environment.  In a weird combination (clash) of people who grew that company from the ground up and newbies (outsiders?) like me who were trying to come in to help it succeed, an environment of blame and fear and politics flourished.  Clearly I didn't play well there - and so they wiped me out.  

And when they did, they presented me with the right time to go after a role at ADP.  Told ya it was an answered prayer.  :)

Here's the issue that I had to deal with through this situation...  ADP is BIG.  It's SLOW - particularly in HR.  And if there were ever a company where silos of people work side by side and don't know each other - it's here.  Bob, despite working for ADP for nearly 20 years, didn't have good contacts in the Product Management organization.  He reached out to a few people, but none of them were all that helpful.  I happened to have a former colleague that is now in product management at ADP and when I reached out to her to discuss the company, people, work, etc. she was more than forthcoming - but she wasn't at all helpful in getting my resume pushed forward.  So while I applied first to ADP, I didn't hear anything for a REALLY long time.  To be honest, I lost hope that I'd be able to get a foot in the door.  (Sidebar - never lose hope.)

The very day of my final interview/presentation for a job I ended up not getting (despite making it through like 5 rounds of interviews) I had a call with a woman who is now my boss.  To be honest, I was pretty sure I was going to get that other role and didn't really prep for the ADP screening discussion.  I don't actually even remember most of it.  

Fast forward a few days and I got rejected for the job I thought I was going to get and the next day got invited back for more interviews at ADP.  Things work out.  

I am now managing ADP's Talent Management solutions as part of the National Accounts team.  I have 3 solutions under me and work with a number of different teams.  I am literally just getting my feet wet here, but when I heard that there isn't a single person on my team that has a tenure of less than 5 years, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that I made the right choice to join this group.  Employees don't stick around if they don't feel valued and this group has stuck around for a LONG time.  

I'm excited to see what the future brings.  I'm excited to be a part of the ADP team.  And it's SUPER weird (and awesome) that Bob is in my WORK Instant Messenger system!  

So it's a pretty good trade off to have this opportunity hitting right at the end of the year - which means no PTO time for me this year.  It's a small sacrifice to get the chance to (finally) work for this company that I've had my eye on for such a long time.  And it's a huge relief to have the ordeal of the last 3 months in the rear view mirror.  

Newsy stuff

- Spencer is off to TN this weekend for an individual tournament.  He and Bob are leaving tomorrow morning.  

- Quinn is wrestling in a JV Dual tomorrow night

- Zane and Beck are also wrestling tomorrow night in an individual tournament - it's a divide-and-conquer kinda day!

Sunday we have church and then a Christmas party at the wrestling gym and Monday evening starts the Christmas festivities.  I can't wait to celebrate Christmas this year!  We have SO VERY MUCH to be thankful for!

Thank you for all the love and support you have thrown our way this year (and all the years).  

Merry Christmas to all of you!!!

Picture of the Week - 12/12/2019

Big Happy Birthday wishes to Bob today!  I wish we could celebrate, but mid-week birthdays are rough.  I'm sure he will take a rain-check for birthday fun!

The boys cooperated with me last weekend to get the traditional, annual Santa Hat picture.  Love this almost as much as I love them!  

Newsy-stuff...

Tomorrow the varsity team is heading over to Pigeon Forge for the Smoky Mt Duals*.  They went last year too and had a really fun time.  Spencer is wrestling the 220 spot and Quinn got invited to go in case coach wants to juggle up the lineup.  Bob's driving the "Bob Mobile" with a car full of boys and will likely be playing Uber-duties for the team during the trip.  They should get home late on Saturday.  Can't wait to see how they do!  It's a big tourney with a lot of high quality teams attending.  I like our chances against most of them!

Then Sunday, Zane got chosen to compete with the Morris Fitness Elementary School duals team.  He's SOOOO excited.  Bob should get home just in time to grab some sleep, repack the cooler and head to a different gym full of wrestling mats.  'Tis the season!  (Spoiler alert, next weekend looks very similar...)

Have a great week everyone!  Get all that shopping and baking and shipping and wrapping outta the way so you can sink into the magic of the season next week!  

* For anyone who doesn't know wrestling...  a Dual is a team event.  For the high school, there are 14 weight classes, so the best kid at each weight class is part of the Dual team.  The team competes against another team and each of the weight classes wrestles head-to-head.  Points are earned by one team, based on the type of match/win.  The team with the highest point total at the end of the 14 matches is the winner.  I love Duals.  They are super easy to watch because all of our guys are wrestling back-to-back on the same mat.  There is a great combo of strategy and skill - because the coach can juggle the line up a bit to get the match-ups he wants.  For example, if our 120 is good, but the opponent has an amazing 120 and has a gap at 126, we may send out a back-up 120 (expecting the loss) and take the win at 126.  It's a bit cat-and-mouse and very entertaining!  It's also really awesome to watch the team cheering for each other.  Wrestling is an individual sport, but Duals folds in the team aspect in a really exciting way.  

Picture of the Week - 12/5/2019

Happy December - and a big happy birthday to my mom!  (It's one of those milestone birthdays, so give her a shout and wish her a HAPPY day!)

We are knee deep in wrestling season - and having a blast!  Here are a couple of pictures from a little dual tournament the boys had on Tuesday.  Quinn didn't have a match, so he just got to hang with the team, support his buddies, and look all handsome.  Spencer tried to break this guy's poor neck on the way to a pin.  This weekend Spencer and Quinn are off thanks to a tournament cancellation, but Zane and Beck have a tournament on Sunday.  

In between wrestling practice, we are GEARING UP for Christmas!  I can't wait!  This weekend our church is doing a big celebration for the kids.  It sounds like great fun - with music and food and dancing.  Thanks for the forced down-time I had being unemployed through the fall, we've got all our shopping done and we are well on our way to being able to sit back with a winter cocktail and enjoy the season.  I hope you are all taking some time to slow down and enjoy - as I know this season can be a crazy busy time!

Have a great week!  Only 19 days until Christmas!

PS - Quinn got contacts!  Isn't he handsome?!?!?!

Picture of the Week - 11/28/2019

Happy Thanksgiving! 

Grateful.  Thankful.  Blessed!

Picture of the Week - 11/21/2019

As we move quickly into Thanksgiving week, I really couldn't be more thankful for the extra time I've gotten to spend with the boys over the last couple of months.  It's been a blessing that I do not take for granted.  It will come to an end, but the impact these last weeks has had on me, my relationships with them, and my mindset about a great number of things will remain.  I am refreshed.  I am thankful.  Grateful.  Blessed.

I thought I'd share a glimpse into one of the most creative solutions to a "situation" that popped up at school in a long time.  Zane is in 4th grade this year and is in a class full of, let's call them high achievers.  He's having a great year.  He's always been a good student, but this year he's also getting into extracurriculars.  He was invited to join the Junior Beta club.  He participates in the running club.  He engages in a wide variety of ways and topics.  All in all, he's just an easy kid to parent through elementary school.

So I didn't really think much about it when he started talking about Pokémon again and pulled out the old Pokémon cards.  I mean this same thing happened with Minecraft...  what was cool for the big guys eventually becomes cool for the littles as well.  So we got all caught up on the world of Pokémon.  Turns out remarkably little changes...  and got used to the chatter between Zane and Beckett in what sounds suspiciously like a foreign tongue.

Then one day disaster struck.  His teacher thought that the Pokémon chat was becoming too big a distraction and she - GASP - banned the cards at school.  Zane was pretty bummed about this.  Then he ran outside to play...  and I didn't really think much more about it.  

A few days later he asked if we have any index cards.  Yes, of course.  What kind of respectable family with a bunch of kids in school doesn't have index cards.  Do you want white or colored?  He took a stack of the white ones and off he went.  I didn't ask why.  I didn't really care, to be honest.  

The next thing I knew, he was working on these cards every chance he got.  He pulled out a bunch of old colored pencils.  He carried them back and forth to school in a zip lock bag.  Finally curiosity got the best of me and I asked him what he was doing.  His answer was very matter-of-fact.  He and his friends were making their own battle/trading cards to sell to each other to take the place of the Pokémon cards.  They found a way around the teacher's ban.  LOL  And honestly, if I were the teacher, I would support this whole-heartedly!  These cards have rules, there's a storyline, there are drawings.  In short, there's some serious thought and creativity going into this project.  

I just love that kid and the way his mind works.  There's no stopping him - especially if he decides to work around whatever future roadblocks hit his path.  Lookout world...  Zane is coming for you!

Sporty news (because what's a POTW without a sporty update?)

- Spencer is back full time on the mats with the Varsity team.  He wrestled in his first dual last night and went 2-0 with a forfeit and a pin in 23 seconds.  

- Quinn wrestled JV yesterday and ran into another hammer who is working on dropping weight so he can get back onto his varsity team.  He lost, but gets to try again soon.

- Zane and Beck are doing a tourney on Sunday.  They are both ready and looking really good.  They are really motivated this year.  I'm excited to see what they can do!

- Quinn and the JV team are going to a tournament on Monday (which I'm really looking forward to seeing!)

- Both Spencer and Quinn are wrestling on Tuesday in the West Thanksgiving Duals.  This is always one of my favorite events - despite the amount of work that goes into making it run.  It's a fun one! 

Then we get to take a breather and enjoy some downtime for Thanksgiving break before hitting the ground RUNNING in December!

Picture of the Week - 11/14/2019

How'd it get to be the middle of November so fast???  Wow!

Bob and I had a great time on our mini-vacation to Asheville.  What a cute little town.  We stayed in a fun, trendy hotel and ate tapas and drank fancy cocktails.  It was like we were grown-ups or something!  We also got to visit the Biltmore house, which just happened to be hosting a Downton Abbey exhibit.  A few thoughts on this...  

Biltmore is beautiful and impressive.  It did pale a bit after visiting castles in Europe...  but was different enough to not feel like an imitation.  I can't wrap my head around living like that!  We lucked out because it was all decorated for Christmas already.  Gorgeous!  I'm so glad we got to see it decorated.  It really did put us in the holiday mood!

We started watching Downton Abbey a couple of months ago.  We didn't watch it back when it was "new", so we are only through about 2 seasons.  I'm really glad we watched it before visiting Biltmore because it was MUCH easier to imagine what the house was like after watching the show.  I do, however, wish we had finished the series before going through the Downton Abbey exhibition.  We learned some things about the storyline and some of the big plot twists were kinda ruined for us.  We'll still watch...  but I wish we didn't know what was coming.  I think this is a little like reading a book and then watching the movie.  It's still good, just different...  

If you ever decide to take a road trip to Asheville... we highly recommend the Foundry Hotel and you MUST eat at Curate.  Get the lamb and thank me later.  Stop at the Social House for cocktails and order the one with the basil in it.  Yum!

In sports news...  Spencer's football team has a playoff game tomorrow night.  It would be a colossal upset if they won, so his football season is likely over this week.  He's really anxious to wrestle, so it's kind of a win/win for us.  Quinn's mostly recovered from his concussion, but going to take this weekend off and should be good to go next week.  Zane and Beck are into practices 3-4 nights a week and seem to really be enjoying themselves.  Their first tournament is a week from Saturday.  

Here are a couple of pictures we took at the pumpkin patch.  I've not shared them before, but thought I'd send them along because they make me smile.  

Have a great week everyone - spend some time prepping the Thanksgiving menu and thinking about all the things you are thankful for this year.  There are SO many... for instance...  I just figured out where to buy my current favorite wine, which I feared I'd lost forever when Total Wine didn't have it.  3 cheers for the Fancy Kroger and Storyteller Chardonnay!

Picture of the Week - 11/7/2019

Happy November!

Fun stuff happening here!  

Spencer's last regular season football game is tomorrow night.  They will go into the playoffs next week, but we have to wait and see if they can pull out a win against a big in-county rival tomorrow.  Oh and it's supposed to be in the 30s!  I may freeze...  

Beckett/Bob's team lost last weekend, so both Beck and Zane have transitioned to wrestling season.  They are both really into it this year.  Far more than last year.  Should be a fun season for them.  They are working out with the high school coaches and also a couple of nights a week at Morris Fitness.  I figure 4 nights a week ought to keep them busy for a while.  LOL  We will be doing some tournaments with them this year.  Both are still in the same age brackets as last year, but this year they are the OLDER ones.  I think they should have good seasons!  There's a huge difference between a 7 year old with no experience and an 8 year old with a year under his belt.  And both boys weigh almost exactly what they did last year, so I expect they are going to have a lot of fun!

Quinn's NOT having a fun week this week...  he and another wrestler smacked heads pretty hard yesterday morning.  Quinn ended up with a mild concussion and has been home for a couple of days.  He's feeling much better, but will have to sit out the team's first tournament of the season.  Spencer isn't wrestling yet either as he has to finish out the football season first.  They are both anxious to get out on the mats again.

Bob and I are practically counting the minutes until Sunday afternoon when we are leaving the boys with my parents for a couple of days to take a little trip to Asheville, NC.  We figured we should take advantage of my free time, Bob's plethora of PTO, and a relatively quiet sports schedule to have a get-away.  We are ridiculously excited!  I'll let you know how the Downton Abbey exhibition at the Biltmore is!  I think we are going to miss peak leaf color in Asheville, but the forecast maps show that north GA will be in peak color for our drive.  Yahoo!! 

Have a great week everyone!  Here are a couple of pictures from wrestling practice last night.  Beck is trying to look intimidating, I think...  or maybe that's his evil alter ego coming out???

Picture of the Week - 11/1/2019

Oops - missed Thursday two weeks in a row.  I'll get back onto a schedule soon!

Last night was Halloween (of course) and the boys had a blast.  It's a chaotic evening these days.  Long gone are the days where we could get everyone all dressed up and leisurely wander around the neighborhood.  

Beckett was a skeleton last night.  He was thrilled with this costume when it was 80 degrees.  It was a little less practical after the cold front came through yesterday.  He was eager to get going and went all out for about half the neighborhood.  Then he got cold, went home and was perfectly content to sit and watch TV the rest of the evening.

Zane probably had the best time last night.  He adored his "blow up man" costume.  (I admit it's one of my favs too!)  He ran with the group (and Bob, with Brutus) for a long time, then took off solo with a couple of other boys.  This is the first time he's ever gone off on his own and he was LOVING LIFE!!!  Also, picture in your head "Blow up man" with a blow up dino RUNNING.  SO funny!

Quinn went to a party with a few friends and came home late.  I haven't even talked to him about it yet because he was back up and at wrestling practice at 6 AM this morning.

Spencer had a friend come over and took over handing out candy duty.  I really appreciated him holding down the fort at home while Bob was trick-or-treating and I was playing the role of chauffeur.  

Crazy Halloween this year.  I know I will miss this chaos someday...

Tonight Spencer's team takes on an in-county rival.  Tomorrow Beckett's team tackles round 2 of the playoffs.  If they win, they are in the championship game.  I'm taking Spencer over to Tuscaloosa for the day to attend an admissions brief to learn more about the Naval Academy.  Busy day!!  

Have a great week!  Happy November!

Picture of the Week - 10/25/2019

Last Sunday we made our annual trip to Burt's Pumpkin Farm.  We've been going up there for 15 years and it's one of my favorite traditions.  

If you are linked to me on Facebook, you have already seen some of the pictures we took.  I thought I'd share the headshots I took of the boys this week.  Maternal bias acknowledged, these sure are handsome boys.  I couldn't be more proud to be their mom.  It's amazingly fulfilling to watch them become good men.  

In "news" this week - wrestling season started!  Woot!  Quinn's back on the mat with his team and excited to get going.  First tournament is on Nov 9th.  Spencer has a football game tonight and both Zane and Beck are into playoff season.  Tomorrow may be their last game of the year - or they may keep on going.  Once they finish up football, they will be joining the youth team on the wrestling mats too!

Picture of the Week - 10/17/2019

Beckett will be 8 in 2 short days - and he is SO EXCITED about it!

He's having a birthday party on Saturday and has invited all his football and neighborhood friends.  He's counting down to the party, his birthday, and his presents.  He's so adorable!  I wish we could all get excited about something the way he's excited right now!

Beckett can be a challenging kid.  He's high energy and stubborn with a good amount of "don't give a damn" thrown in for good measure.  He's hard to discipline.  He's hard to correct.  And it's ridiculously hard to stay upset for him because he's do dang cute.  Just when you think he's gonna push you right over the edge he comes up for a cuddle and a hug and tells you just how much he loves you.  There's no agenda in that boy.  He just does what he likes the way he wants to do it.  

Right now Beck is into playing outside with the neighborhood pack.  They play sports of all kinds - some made up games that would entertain well on TV.  They play with nerf guns and sticks.  They draw in chalk on the road and ride anything with wheels.  They run and hide and holler.  They fight and scream and play quietly for hours.  They are exactly what you want when you envision your kid playing outside - wild and crazy and young and free.  I love it!

When he's inside, he plays with Legos or watches stuff on the iPad or plays Roblox or Minecraft.  He loves the dogs.  He really enjoys sneaking snacks out of the pantry.  

Beckett is the easiest of all the kids to take pretty much anywhere with you because he knows a billion kids and will make friends with anyone.  When we go to Zane's practice or Spencer's game he will disappear and reappear for concession stand cash and at the end of the event.  He's got an uncanny ability to know when it's time to show up and otherwise just does his thing.  He's funny because he can (and does) play with kids younger than him, his age, Zane's friends, random 6th graders...  pretty much anyone.  And because he looks just like Spencer, the high school boys all know him too.  He's got friends all over the place!

Wreckit Beckett can be a hot mess, but he is also an absolute joy.  I can't imagine life without his particular variety of spice.  I am so blessed by him every day!  I thank God for this amazing soul.  He's amazing and I can't wait to see what he accomplishes as an 8 year old.  Look out world...  Bucky's coming!

Picture of the Week - 10/10/2019

No boy-news in this email.  They are all happy and healthy and wonderful...  re-read activities from last week - pretty much the same stuff this week.

This week's update is about how I've been spending my time the last few weeks and some of the things I've realized with a little bit of spare time to think...

I've been quilting!  And I've loved it!  For those of you who haven't seen my posts on Facebook or Instagram, I'm working on a Lori Holt applique pattern called Granny's Garden.  It's cute and feminine and has flowers and adorable prints - and about a zillion steps.  

I have had a lot more free time to work on this over the last few weeks than I have had to do pretty much anything crafty for the last few years and I'm only done with 3 blocks.  There are 42 blocks!  And that's not including the borders.  I thought I'd share some progress with you because I love to share pretty stuff - and also because when I stop and think about how much time I've already invested and how much more there is to do, I get a little intimidated.  Maybe more than a little.  

Each block requires the following: Rough cut fabric, cut wax paper (my chosen method of applique), trim fabric to correct shape, iron fabric to wax paper (my least favorite part), position shapes on background, sew shapes to background (stop and admire the adorable), sew background with newly bloomed flower to circle of interfacing to create a pancake, sew pancake to block background - rejoice!  One's done!

I know some people might like to do one block at a time - from start to finish.  I don't do that.  I like to have blocks in various stages so when I get bored with one step I can do something else for a while.  This also helps get blocks ready to travel - because only 2 of those steps up there lend themselves to stepping away from my work space - which is one of my very favorite parts of applique patterns.  Anyway...  I like to have stuff all over the place and in varying levels of completeness - which adds to both the mess and the mental chaos.  

I was considering all of this one day while mindlessly cutting wax paper shapes and I realized a few things.  These are my lessons and my take-aways, but since I regularly overshare with you all in these updates, I thought I'd share.  Maybe someone will find something useful in my musings...

Intimidation

This is an intimidating project.  42 blocks is a lot of blocks.  When you look at the number of shapes on each block and the number of steps required...  it's a small wonder anyone decides to tackle a project like this.  And I think that's a bit like life.  If you stop and think about all of the things that need to be done it would be paralyzingly scary.  If you think about all of the steps needed to complete just about anything successfully (or even attempt and fail) - it's terrifying.  But if you just look at one block at a time and remember to rejoice with each step, then before you know it, it's 1/5th done. then half, and then you are tidying up with the final stitches and standing back to admire.  One step at a time.  One day at a time.  And don't forget to rejoice and admire!

Imperfections

My blocks aren't perfect.  My shapes are a little wonky.  I could stand to spend a bit more time trying to get things even and centered.  I noticed one particularly bad "miss" on the block in the upper right hand corner (affectionately known as #6).  It's really off center.  And it's up in the corner - not a spot I can really hide very well.  By the time I realized how screwed up that poor, adorable flower is it was a little too late to fix it.  I had basically 3 options: 1) Cry, 2) Start over, 3) Accept it as is and move on.  I picked #3...  and here's why...  if my stitches were all perfect and all my blocks looked exactly like the pattern then how would my grandkids grandkids ever be able to tell the difference between my quilt and someone else's?  If we were all perfectly recreating someone else's vision, then the result would be a bunch of boring cookie cutter final projects*.  My imperfections are mine - and came from my hands, my interpretations, my best efforts.  

This idea of accepting imperfection is really something that is a little hard for a recovering perfectionist, but when I look around at all of the things I've had a hand helping to create - my home, my career, my marriage, or my kids - any one of you could look and find issues, problems, imperfections.  You may see the way my boys keep their rooms and think I could be doing a better job creating men who clean and a house to be proud of.  You may see the scratches in my hardwoods and take pause because I've let my dogs mess up my previously perfect floors.  You may read that I got laid off and rationalize that I surely screwed something up to find myself in this situation.  (I tried to think of something "wrong" with my marriage, but I'm a bit at a loss...  ;) )  All of these imperfections and yet here I am, happy and content.  So what would I gain by trying to make all this stuff fit some arbitrary ideal of perfect?  What would I have to give up in the process?  

I'm OK with my imperfections.  Some of them I will see, acknowledge and work to improve upon.  Some of them, I will recognize and then move on.  Some of them, I don't even notice.  Some of them I wouldn't even call imperfections - so if you do, that's on you.  I think it's a pretty healthy thing to look at the reality of the things we are working on and realize that there isn't a "perfect" that's worth chasing.  Imperfect is perfect.

Celebrate little steps

Look, this quilt (and this thing we call life - raising kids, forming relationships, growing spiritually, contributing to something, earning a living, etc.) is a long haul.  It's one block at a time.  It's bouncing from one step to another and then backtracking again.  Two steps forward, one step back.  Sometimes you hit the "chute" and end up many steps back.  Sometimes it's the "ladder".  The goal is to add stuff to the "done" pile while simultaneously lamenting the giant size of the "to do" pile.  And all along the road, we should be celebrating.  Look how cute that flower turned out!  No, really, look!  Hang it up and admire and then take it down to work on the next thing.  Life is like that too.  At the end of every day, there's something to celebrate.  I guarantee it.  Don't believe me?  Try looking for a reason to celebrate - even while acknowledging that you have to get up and do it all again tomorrow, next week, next year.  Try it!  Even on bad days, there's something to celebrate.  I mean - who doesn't celebrate finishing your taxes or tying a bow on that last wrapped Christmas present or not undercooking the hamburgers?  Go ahead - celebrate the little wins!  That's what makes this whole thing fun, fulfilling, and worthwhile.

Enjoy the process

If all I wanted was a finished, adorable quilt, I would buy it.  It would be far cheaper (really at any price) for me to buy one than it is for me to make this quilt.  If all I wanted was the end result, this whole thing is a complete waste of time and talent (albeit imperfect talent).  The truth is, you have to enjoy the process along the way.  If you can't enjoy the process, don't do it.  Find a way to find joy along the way.  Listen to your favorite music on that long drive to vacation.  Try a new recipe every week while you are working on losing some weight.  Drink wine for no reason on a Wednesday night with your best friend and then do another load of laundry.  Find a way to enjoy today because the process IS the point!  (Read that again.)

So there you have it.  Therapy through quilting.  And now I'm off to throw dinner in the instapot, prep for another interview, and feed my dogs.  It may not be a perfect Thursday, but it's a pretty good one - and I may just finish another flower along the way.

Here are a bunch of pictures (probably too many) of the progress I've made on my blocks so far.  You will notice (I hope) all the different stages these guys are in...  and that I'm not working on them in order.  LOL  Conformity be damned!  LOL

Cheers!

*You may be thinking that just by choosing a pattern instead of free form creating from my imagination I have caved to "the masses" and am attempting just to recreate someone else's vision.  You aren't wrong.  But I will be the first person to recognize my strengths and where I can use some help from someone with different talents.