Picture of the Week - 1/30/2020

Quinn turns 16 on Sunday

Wow!!

It's a little hard to believe that the Mighty Quinn is already 16 years old.  It kind of snuck up on me.  I suppose that shouldn't be surprising...  Quinn is all about quiet progress and goal smashing without fanfare.  

Quinn is an easy child.  He doesn't demand much and just mostly goes with the flow.  Given some of the other big personalities we have in the house, I suppose you could say that he doesn't get his "fair share" of the attention, the accolades, the drama...  I could write a whole paragraph about how he's a typically overlooked middle-child.  I guess...  But I don't view him that way at all.  

Quinn is the boy I check in on the most.  I frequently pop my head into his room to make sure he's OK.  These little interactions take maybe 15 seconds because they almost always go something like this.  <knock knock> Quinn, "what?"  <open door>  Me, "Hey.  How are you?"  Quinn, "Fine."  Me, "What are you up to?"  Quinn, "Watching fill-in-the-blank."  Me, "OK.  How are you?"  Quinn, "Fine."  Me, "Do you need anything?"  Quinn, "No."  Me, "OK." <exit scene>

LOL  He's a man of few words.  

BUT he's also the son most likely to come lay on my bed and talk about something bothering him.  He's deeper, in many important ways, in his thoughts than his brothers.  He senses the world around him and sees things that I'm guessing many 16 year olds don't even recognize.  He's an empath and feeds on energy around him - good or bad.  For this reason, it's even more important to me to give him hugs and give him the space he needs to feel, process, and share.  I keep more an eye on his emotional status than I do with his brothers because he's far more likely to internalize a harsh word, or a nasty glance, or a loss than Spencer is.  It's harder for Quinn to let this go and not let the little hurdles in life impact his mood - or his confidence.  

And that's why I am SOOOOO happy that Quinn has found a small group at church where he feels comfortable.  I know that despite how open we are to letting Quinn lay at the foot of our bed in the evenings, he's never going to share all of his thoughts with us.  I know there are some things that he will feel more comfortable talking about with his peers.  And this group is so perfect for him.  They have accepted him.  They love him.  They have shown him how to let God into his life.  They are teaching him how to follow Jesus.  And they are going to help him navigate through the rest of this ultra-challenging phase of his transition from child to man.  I really couldn't be happier to have this group to help us guide Quinn's spiritual and moral growth.  Three cheers for Browns Bridge InsideOut!  

While I feel like he's on a good path spiritually, I also love the connection Quinn has with his wrestling brothers - for some other important reasons.  This group gives him an in-school peer group that no one outside the team will mess with.  I mean, really...  the wrestling team is full of a bunch of fit, strong, and fearless men.  They have each other's backs and have created a safe space for physical growth, strength training, and competition.  Quinn has thrived under the watchful eyes of his teammates, captains, and coaches.  I couldn't ask for a better team for him to be a part of and am so thankful that he's been able to play the role he has as a West Wrestler.  He's getting better all the time and I think the next couple of years we will watch him turn all of the opportunities he's been given and the support he has into an increasingly fun experience.   

I think it's easy to underestimate what happens going from 15 to 16.  It's just another year, right?  (for most kids) It's not the terrifying transition to high school year.  It's not the equally terrifying transition out of high school year.  You aren't an upperclassman.  You aren't a freshman.  You aren't a child anymore, but don't really have any harsh responsibilities.  It's just kind of a passage year, right?  No no no.  This is a year of change as big as any other.  It's the change from monitored and dependent to freedom.  It's the transition to having an educated opinion and voice.  It's testing the waters of adulthood with an ever evaporating safety net behind you.  

I can't wait to watch Quinn grow over this next year.  Bob and I will be there to support, guide, and love.  But I know that he's on a path that will serve him well.  He's focused on the right things and has his priorities straight.  He's not perfect (no one is), but it would be hard for me to imagine a better version of the Mighty Quinn than the one we are watching blossom in front of us.  

Quinn's favorite bible verse is Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."  I couldn't pick a better one for him.  From the moment he was born, needing to fight to survive, through all his heart issues, scoliosis, seizure scares, failure to thrive, etc etc etc, Quinn has shown that he was put here for a purpose.  He is meant to not only survive, but to thrive.  And he is teaching us all to trust along the way.  

Happy Birthday my sweet Quinn.  May you find every comfort, joy, and success you seek this year.  And may God watch over your every step.

As you may remember, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Quinn is going on a mission trip this summer.  He's going with his small group to Colorado to serve the homeless.  If you would like to support Quinn on this trip, you can make a donation at this link.  If you aren't able to donate financially, he would be just as pleased to know that you are praying for him on this journey.  Drop him an email at quinn_bovenizer@yahoo.com and let him know you are behind him.  

Donate to Quinn Bovenizer for 2020 Colorado Browns Bridge InsideOut - global(x) (powered by ServiceReef)

Donate to Quinn Bovenizer for 2020 Colorado Browns Bridge InsideOut - gl... Hi! I am so excited about the opportunity to travel with other high school members of my church to Denver this ...

In non-birthday news...  

We have another wrestling kind of weekend in front of us.  For the high school teams, this is the start of their version of playoffs - for the individual wrestlers.  Spencer will be wrestling with the varsity squad and needs to place top 4 in the region to move onto Sectionals next weekend.  Quinn will be wrestling with the JV guys and will be looking for a spot on the podium.  He's technically done after this weekend, but will continue to practice with the varsity guys to keep them sharp through the end of the season.  

Zane and Beckett are wrestling on Sunday as well.  They both had a bit of a rough time last weekend.  I think maybe we all underestimated how impactful Zane's month of bed-rest had been.  He's been back to practice this week and is feeling much better.  We're hoping to get him some wins this weekend!  

Have a great week everyone!

Picture of the Week - 1/23/2020

Oh this sport of wrestling...  what can I even say about it...  maybe I should start by sharing something someone else wrote about wrestlers. 

Obsessed Wrestler

“They suffer in silence.

Day in and day out the men and women of my squad do things others would deem superhuman.

Fight to maintain grades
Fight to maintain weight
Fight off skin infection
Fight to keep varsity positions
Fight to win matches against skilled opponents.
Fight the stigmas of their peers.
Fight against the silence of a community that widely ignores them.
Fight with personal demons.

They do this all in a deafening vacuum of ambivalence. Unseen by friends and family. Locked away in early mornings and late nights they push themselves to the peak of human perfection. Their is a certain beauty in their quiet struggles. No banners. No parades. No accolades. Just the simple promise to themselves that they will be better. That they have to be better.

So the next time you see one of my wrestlers, remember this: that the people of this world that can get things done are the workers. The ones with their sleeves rolled up and their boots caked with dirt. These wrestlers thrive with sweat on their brow.

There is a good chance they have done more than you ever could. And will achieve more that you ever did.

And it all starts with the quiet stillness in their silent suffering.”

- Ryan Lancaster

When I was younger and envisioning my future life, I never once, for even ONE SECOND, considered that I might raise a wrestler.  I didn't know anything about wrestling.  Actually, that's not true...  I did *think* I knew some stuff about wrestling, but it turns out it was all wrong.  Every perception I had about those boys in their underwear, was inaccurate.  Wrestling, for those who aren't IN IT, doesn't make sense.  And if you aren't IN IT, trust me when I say, you don't understand it.

I never would have dreamed that in 2020 I would spend 20 bucks for the privilege of watching a live stream of a Georgia State Wrestling Dual.  Like seriously...  my 1995 self was never going to even BE in Georgia, would have had girls, and couldn't even conceive of the idea of watching some kind of live event through an app on my smart TV.  Mind blown.

And yet.  That's exactly what I did.  And I didn't do it passively.  This wasn't a "put it on for noise in the background" kind of experience.  For 3 days my schedule revolved around when the West Wrestling Team would be wrestling next.  I was useless during their matches.  I paced.  I cheered (yes, alone in my room).  I had the video up on the TV and the live scoring app on my laptop.  I had a spreadsheet to keep track - real time - with points.  My heart raced.  I was a nervous wreck!!!  

And it was SO RIDICULOUSLY FUN!!!

It turns out wrestling is an addictive sport.  It's a FAR bigger adrenaline rush than football has ever been for me, which kind of surprises me to admit.  Think back to the most exciting football game you've ever watched.  Now cram ALL of the emotion into 6 minutes and strip it down to a one-on-one match-up.  Now imagine that one of those souls out there exposed on the field is your son.  If you are following with this imaginary situation, you might have an inkling of what wrestling parents go through during a match.

So the West Wrestling team 4 years ago was struggling.  It wasn't a successful program.  Spencer and Quinn were in 6th and 7th grades.  We had just decided to rejoin the world of wrestling because Spencer's football coach convinced him it would be good for his football career.  We were football first, wrestle-to-work-on-footwork people.  

Then the high school got a new coach.  The energy around the wrestling room shifted.  Spencer, unexpectedly, got to wrestle varsity as a freshman (admittedly largely due to the fact that the program was kind of in shambles at the time and there wasn't anyone else.)  And we all fell in love.  We never even saw it coming...  the transition to "wrestling people" just happened.  

Wrestling is, of course, a sport that demands physical preparation.  It requires strong bodies and focus on strength and endurance (in 6 minute bursts).  I love this about the sport because my guys all need a kick in the pants to get moving.  I want them to be of sound body and this sport demands it.  

But wrestling is also a sport that demands mental toughness.  It is this that makes it my favorite sport (of all those we've experienced).  I believe there isn't a better way to prepare for L.I.F.E than to get ready for a wrestling match.  I think this is especially true of Duals.  If you are like me, you may not understand anything about wrestling.  It's taken me 3 years to figure out some of this stuff.  In a high school Dual, each team gets 14 weight classes and each weight class has 1 wrestler from each team.  They battle it out in front of the entire gymnasium full of people and whatever points they earn from their match go toward the TEAM'S total.  The TEAM wins or loses - even though that win is made up of 14 individual battles.  Some interesting strategy comes out in some Duals.  Kids can be bumped up a weight class or held out of a match based on what the coach thinks will happen.  It's a chess battle, with a ton of physicality required, all played out on a mat without anywhere for the wrestlers to hide.  They don't even get pads.  

When West, and Coach Goff, started rebuilding the wrestling program, I don't know if anyone thought that they would be on the State Dual Championship podium in year 3 of the process.  At best it was a stretch goal.  West is a 7A school.  This means they have to compete with some monster programs.  When they went down to Macon, GA last weekend and won 3rd place no one remotely connected with the program took one minute of that experience for granted.  It's the best finish the program has ever had - and it was earned in spectacular style.  

After going 2-0 on Thursday, the team went head-to-head with Camden County Friday evening.  Camden is a perennial powerhouse and we lost... badly.  Of the 14 guys, we only won 2 matches.  It was basically a slaughter.  Saturday morning, the team got after it again.  They had the mental fortitude to put the beating behind them and move on.  They beat Brookwood to earn the right to wrestle Archer in the consolation final match.  And don't for one second think that anyone on that team was focused on the word consolation...  this was their final and they were fired up.  

The Archer team is loaded at the lighter weights.  For a Dual competition, you might be surprised to know that the wrestling doesn't always start at the light weight.  It just so happens that, based on the way the tournament went, this final Dual started at the smallest weight and would end with heavyweight.  We lost 6 of the first 7 matches and found ourselves down 3-19 before the tide turned in our direction.  The whole time this was going on, I was doing math.  Spencer wrestles 220 and our heavyweight is amazing.  If we assumed we would get a pin (6 points) at the heavyweight match, would Spencer's match matter? 

Turns out Spencer's match ended up being the decision point of the Dual.  NOTE - I do NOTE think that anyone who wrestled before or after Spencer didn't have just as much to do with the win as he did.  If any of the other guys had gotten pinned instead of "just" lost or had any of the other wins gone differently the whole Dual would have changed.  

But in the moment, when Spencer stepped on the mat, it was HIS PERFORMANCE that would determine the fate of his team.  (This is again, assuming Dylan, our heavyweight would pin his kid... which is always a good assumption...)  When Spencer started his match the team was down 22-25.  He needed to win.  If Spencer got pinned, the team would lose.  If Spencer lost on points, the team would have lost on tie-breaker rules.  It was a high drama situation.  I nearly died...

Spencer pinned his kid.  And I have never been so happy for him.  I cried real tears of joy on his behalf.  It was a special moment.  (Then I drank wine... because Holy Hell that was stressful!!!)

I am so proud that my kids - all of them - are a part of this program.  They just completed the BEST EVER finish the high school has ever had.  They are a part of something special.  And what they are gaining through the process is, literally, priceless.  

Updates and such

- Everyone is wrestling this weekend!!!  Zane got clearance today to resume normal activities as the pressure in his eye is finally back to normal.  He's still on the drops twice a day for the next couple of weeks, but we are soooo excited that he's healing well and can get back to normal!  Zane and Beck will wrestle in a tournament on Sunday.

- The high school wrestling season now transitions from Team-based Duals to Individual battles.  Spencer will be wrestling in a big tournament - at Archer, of all places - this weekend.  Quinn's assignment is slightly up in the air as the guys around him all jockey for position.  He will either wrestle in the same tournament as Spencer (which would be very nice for the parents...) or he will wrestle in a JV tournament.  Either way, I'm excited to get to watch him put in some work as it's been a while since I've seen him wrestle live in person. 

- If you need us this weekend, check the gymnasium.

Picture of the Week - 1/16/2020

Quicky POTW today...

Here's a picture of Spencer and Quinn from last weekend's region dual win.  They are currently down in Macon w the team at State Duals.  They CRUSHED their first opponent 74-6 and will be wrestling against Rockdale County this evening.  They looked great!  (As a reminder for anyone not familiar with Georgia high school...  West Forsyth is in Region 5 and they are a 7A school  That's the biggest classification.  If you are interested in following along - the entire event is being broadcast through Trackwrestling.com

Zane update - his appointment on Monday was not great...  but it could have been worse.  His eye pressure is STILL too high.  (Yes, we are just as tired of saying that as you are of hearing it.)  The Ophthalmologist actually walked Bob and Zane from her office down to the glaucoma specialist.  Apparently we've been transitioned to her as there's very little sign of the injury left - with the significant exception of the eye pressure.  She put him back on the blood pressure pill, but released him to go back to school.  She thinks he may still just be healing and wants to see him back on the 23rd.  If pressure is still up then...  I don't know what the next step is.  I'm hoping we will get to salvage some of the rest of his wrestling season because he was having a really good one...  but he's not even allowed to do school recess yet.  New update next week...

Heads up - Quinn is going on a mission trip this summer.  I don't have a ton of info just yet (he's going to Colorado to serve the homeless), but when we get more details, I'd love for you to consider supporting his trip.  Spencer has applied to both the Naval Academy and West Point Summer programs for this summer as well.  Not sure if he will get in or not, but it's fixin' to be an expensive summer for the Bovy boys.

Have a great week!  Looks like it's finally going to get cold down here this weekend.  I'm kinda glad - I need a reason to make some more soup!

Picture of the Week - 1/9/2020

Yep - we're over it...

And yet, we're still in it... 

Zane just had another eye doctor appointment this morning.  The pressures in his eye are STILL too high.  We are officially at day 14.  He's still on modified bed rest.  He's still out of school.  We are still doing drops and he's still wearing a shield.  And we still have more appointments on the calendar to hike down to Emory Eye Clinic.*

Did you know that (last numbers I could find) there were 7500 hospitalizations in 2010 for eye injuries in pediatric patients?  Did you know that 70% of them were males?  60% of those came from sports or recreational activities.  Ahhhh...  it's so good to be part of a statistic.  LOL

Seriously though, things could have been worse, as I've said before.  Zane's vision is still 20/20.  They tested his color vision today, which is apparently one of the first signs of optic nerve damage, and it's perfect.  So all signs point to a full recovery.  

And yet

We can't get this darn pressure down.  He's young and healthy, so he can handle high intra-ocular pressure for short periods without long term impacts.  But the longer this goes, the more concerning it is.  We started talking about glaucoma management today.  We aren't there yet...  but we're getting there...  

They are taking him, slowly, off one of his drops.  He's still on the other 4.  We go back on Thursday.  The doctor today explained to me that the steroid drop we are weaning off of can cause increased pressure and he does still have a small amount of blood in the anterior chamber of his eye.  I can't see it anymore without special tools, so it's very small.  This blood could be causing the "drainage system" for lack of a better way to describe it, to be clogged a bit or overwhelmed, which could be leading to increased pressure.  So there are still reasons (glaucoma aside) that his pressures might be elevated.  We need to clear out those potential causes before we will really know what the long term prognosis is.  And we are looking at at least 2 more trips to Emory Eye Clinic.

If you could say a bit of a prayer for him that things turn around this week, we'd be very appreciative.  He won't be back to school until at least next Tuesday.  He's out of wrestling - probably for most of the rest of the season at this point.  And he's getting to the point that he's bored out of his mind at home.  He's used to SO much more physical activity than he's had in the last 2 weeks.  (He's currently expending all of that energy chattering...  LOL)

* I don't want anyone to get me wrong, I am SOOOO grateful for the amazing medical professionals we have available to us in Atlanta.  We are blessed.  Truly.  But Emory is an easy 90 minute drive (in Atlanta traffic) from our house.  This clinic is busy and they are thorough.  That has meant long waits at almost every appointment.  Multi-hour waits.  So you are looking at at least a half day experience for each appointment.  I'm not complaining, but it's definitely a hassle.

In other news...  the other boys are all good.  We bought a bearded dragon last weekend.  And everyone is busy wrestling.  

This is a really big weekend for the high school team.  It's Regional Duals weekend.  If they come in first or second on Saturday, they will head to State Duals next weekend.  Stay tuned!  Quinn is wrestling with the JV team in their duals on Friday night and then both boys are on the varsity team on Saturday.  Spencer has the 220 spot and Quinn has dropped weight down to 126 where he's backing up a few different guys and giving coach some options to move people around depending on what the other team looks like.  Should be a fun couple of days of wrestling for sure!

Picture of the Week - 1/2/2020

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a holiday season filled with all the things you were hoping for!  We sure did - and then some...

Not 2 hours after I wrote last week's POTW message, I got a text from Bob letting me know that Zane had shot himself in the eye with a nerf dart.  Most of you have probably seen the updates about what happened on Facebook, so I won't repeat the whole saga here.  I'll just simply say that we are extraordinarily thankful that things weren't worse and that he'll be fine.  It's always exciting around here!

Our New Year's Eve was typically quiet and mostly revolved around chauffeur duties and sleep.  LOL  New Years Day was football and relaxation and chilling with a traditional dinner with the boys and my parents.  Good stuff!

And now we are onto the road to real life.  We aren't quite there yet because our lovely school calendar tells us that the boys don't start classes again until January 7th.  I HATE this part of the school calendar.  It's such a long break and everyone (at least in my house) is ready to get back into a routine by now.  We can't travel because of wrestling (and work) so we are left in this weird limbo of bored kids and confused dogs.  To be fair, I'm at the office today and tomorrow and letting Bob fend for himself!  Ha!  

While Zane is still on bed rest/no activity, the other boys are going to be busy over the rest of the break.  Beckett is going to a Code Ninjas camp to play with Roblox - and he's ridiculously excited about it.  Hopefully Zane will get clearance from the eye Dr at his appointment tomorrow to join him on Monday.  Spencer and Quinn are both wrestling this weekend - starting at noon on Friday.  It's an individual tournament, double elimination.  Spence is wrestling 220 and Quinn's got the 126 spot for the weekend - assuming everyone makes weight.  The team is getting into the heart of their schedule with Regional Duals coming up next weekend.  It's crunch time!

Here's a cute picture from last night of Zane and Beck cuddling with a very happy Brutus.  That dog is so funny.  He's in the middle of everything and when he wants some love on the head, there's pretty much nothing that will stop him from getting it!  

Here's to a fabulous 2020!  Go make it a great one!