My theme for this holiday season may end up being "Fake it 'til you make it". I'm having a tough time getting into the spirit this year. And I feel bad even admitting that. The Holiday season is supposed to be magical and full of gift wrapping and baking and peppermint. So far my season feels pretty full of work and stress and drama.
Thank goodness for the little boys. Because of them, I feel like I have to fake some holiday cheer. Eventually opening that Star Wars Advent calendar and finding the elf and reading the Christmas stories and watching the classic movies is gonna force me, for real, into the holiday spirit. For now I'm gonna just keep faking it.
Part of the reason I'm stressed and busy dealing with drama is (admittedly minor) because of lacrosse and the Select evaluations. To make a very long story short, Quinn got cut. So did nearly all of his friends. This has caused much discussion and I shall not rehash all of the conversations. It's taken up a HUGE portion of my time over the last 7 days. It's taken up even more of my energy. And most of that has been dedicated to trying to protect and preserve the PROGRAM from the fallout - not my son. More on that someday when I share how I've somehow found myself in charge of the boys program for our league. I still don't fully understand how that even happened...
Quinn, despite being disappointed, has taken this in stride. He understands that if he had been better than everyone else, he would have made the team. He knows we fully support anything we can do to help prepare him for next year. We believe in him and think he can prepare himself to be a key member of the Sr Select team next year. What we aren't sure of, as this is still quite new, is how he's going to respond. Is he going to step up his game? Will his desire to get better overcome inertia and cause him to change his behavior and his actions? Not sure. I hope so. And since we've done this before, in different circumstances of course, with Spencer, we know the drill. We've seen how a disappointment (getting cut, missing out on playing time, etc) can translate into really great things.
I never like to compare my kids. They are just WAY TOO DIFFERENT. However, all Quinn needs to do to see how to turn this situation into something life-changing, is to look at Spencer. And I know he can do it if he chooses to do so.
And if he doesn't choose to apply the time and energy and will power to get better at lacrosse, that's OK too. If he chooses to play the sport for fun. To use it to spend time with his friends in a less competitive way, that's OK too. And wrapping my head around that idea has taken some effort - if I'm being honest. It's hard not to look at what Spencer has done and how much it has improved HIM and not hope for the same with Quinn. But you know what... Quinn is NOT Spencer. They are different. They have different talents and different abilities and different desires. I pray that I am able to stay open to whatever Quinn chooses to focus on and that he chooses something to channel his passion into that will make him happy.
So yeah... there's been some drama in the house.
And I haven't even shared some of the new medical stuff we are dealing with. Not ready yet... will soon.
As for the old medical stuff, Spencer's shoulder seems to be fully healed. He's been going to the physical therapist 3 times a week for several weeks now. It's made a difference. And now that he's feeling better he's like a possessed animal. If we don't find him a way to work off some of this energy soon I think he may start lifting cars. This morning he got up at 6 AM so he could lift before school. I'm not talking about a couple of bicep curls... I'm talking full on, sweat pouring, lifting. I just pray he doesn't go too fast and hurt himself again because he's so anxious. I'm pretty sure he's going to go to wrestling practice tonight. I pity whoever he gets matched up with...
This Sunday we have another wrestling dual. If Spencer's shoulder does well tonight, he will get to wrestle on Sunday. Quinn will be wrestling too. He got to wrestle for the first time (since he was in 1st grade) last weekend. He got pinned 3 times. The last one was something called a stack? I think??? It looked bad... he got hurt... we spent the afternoon at urgent care getting x-rays of his neck to make sure he didn't break anything. He didn't and he's fine, but wrestling is beast... And you know what, Quinn went right back to work on Tuesday. I'm so proud of him for that. I know he's working hard and not getting much satisfaction from the sport THIS YEAR, but the fact that he's sticking with it will pay off in so many ways. I pray he knows that.
Drama this week for sure...
(Little boys are good - loud, but good - and not causing more drama than normal. Thank goodness!)
Here's to the last full week before Christmas. Here's hoping things will slow down a bit at work as people start disappearing for the holidays. Here's praying that we get through the next week without any new injuries.
Here's to finally tackling my baking. Here's hoping everyone loves the gifts we've chosen for them. Here's praying for guidance on how to best support all of the needs of all of our children in ways that personally work for them.
Here's to sitting down to drink wine and watch Polar Express. Here's hoping I can finish that one last project I'm working on before Christmas. Here's praying that I can remember the real reason for this season and can trust that God has a plan that includes all of this drama.
Have a Happy week everyone! (And sorry for the wordy email... it's therapy...)
PS - how cute are these ornaments that Beckett has made for our tree? I don't even have to fake how much I adore these. Like seriously love...