Having expectations is a recipe for disaster.
(And as a planner, this is something that is really hard for me to admit/learn/remember)
If 2020 has taught us NOTHING else, it's that things don't always (ever?) turn out the way we think they are going to. Sometimes things are worse, but lots of times things are better.
When I get caught up thinking about how something SHOULD be or how someone SHOULD act or what we SHOULD do, then I get flustered and disappointed when the picture in my head doesn't match reality. Which is kind of dumb because reality is, well real, while the picture in my head is nothing but imagination. Granted, this imagination is flavored with experience and knowledge and not fantasy... but still, the point is the same. If I have an expectation, the reality is not going to match (hardly ever) and then I am disappointed or flustered or whatever - instead of just being PRESENT to enjoy the actual moment.
Says easy, does hard sometimes... but it's a process, an evolution, a journey. I'm better at this now (by about a million percent) than I was 15 years ago. Raising kids will do that to you!
The annual trip to Burt's Pumpkin Farm is a really good illustration of an activity that I think we all have expectations built around because we've done it for 17 straight years. We know the route to take, we know how long the drive is, we know when to go to avoid the crowds, we know what the hay ride is like, we know the story the talking pumpkins will tell on the mid-ride stop, we know we will overpay for pumpkins, and we know at least one boy will pick a tiny pumpkin that we will find around March in their room. Experience tells us these things, so it's pretty easy to create an expectation from the day.
Then reality happens and you can either drop the expectation and enjoy the moment or dwell in the "loss" of whatever the day was "supposed" to look like because of an expectation that is, honestly, nothing but an imaginary dream.
Our Burt's trip this year happened about a month later than normal because of all sorts of reasons - weather, trips, etc. Also, it's 2020, so I don't know how/if Covid impacted their farm. When we showed up, instead of seeing a field of different shapes and sizes of pumpkins, we saw mostly damp mulch and mud across the bulk of the empty field. It was definitely not up to the ideal imaginary expectation - or even really on par with even our worst previous trip.
We could have been disappointed and let it ruin our day. Instead, we laughed.
Because it was FUNNY! We grabbed a few pictures, grabbed a few pumpkins, skipped the hay ride and headed back home. It was definitely not the way I expected the day to go, but I think it's pretty safe to say that 2020 has taught us all to just roll with the punches and deal with whatever comes around the corner.
2 months left, here's hoping November and December simmer down some!
This weekend we have playoff football games and then a Halloween block party thing before Trick-or-Treating.
Also - Wrestling season started!!! I'm so excited for this season. It's such a great group of kids and the program is so much fun. I really hope we get to have a season - and I'm trying hard not to have any expectations about what that might look like! For now, I'm happy for every day my boys get to be on that mat!
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