Picture of the Week - 8/13/2020

 Well today is the first day of school.  All the boys are at school today.  Zane and Beck took the bus.  Quinn rode with a friend.  Spencer drove.  

Then Bob and I just looked at each other like, hmmmm, now what?

It's weird.  I am very unsettled.  I'm not nervous about them going.  I'm not afraid that they will get sick - or bring something home.  Is that a risk.  Yes.  Of course it is.  So is putting keys into Spencer's hand and letting him drive to class.  

It's just - I don't really even know.  It's like no one knows how to think or what to feel right now.  It's an unfamiliar feeling - like the million other unfamiliar feelings that have come along in 2020.  Bob got as close to describing my feelings as anything when he suggested that the issue is that we are just waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I think that's kind of it.  There's no trust in the routine, the normal, the "expected".  And it's unsettling.  

So I'm going to do my very best to pretend I'm fine and things are fine until they are, well, fine.  I'm looking forward to hearing how Beck likes his new teacher.  I'm anxious to hear if any of Zane's friends are in his class.  I can't wait to find out who Quinn sat near (but not with) at lunch.  And Spencer, well, I want to know everything about his last first day, but I know him well enough to know not to expect details and to hear the ambivalence in his voice to prove he doesn't care about such things as high school - even if underneath I really believe he was looking forward to walking those halls today as a Senior.  

I pray this year treats my boys well.  I pray that the teachers and administrators have peace and confidence in the decisions they have to make.  I pray the parents and families show grace and patience and understanding.  I pray I can figure out how to respond if things change again.  And in the meantime, I am grateful that they are, at least for today, back to living the lives young men should be living after this long, weird summer.  

Pool picture is from the weekend, but too good not to share.  Back to school picture is from today - Spencer (Senior), Quinn (Junior), Zane (5th grade) and Beckett (3rd grade).