Picture of the Week - 10/25/2018

How often do you REALLY pay attention to someone?  I mean REALLY connect in a way that let's you see them and understand them and (ultimately) support them?

I have LOTS of acquaintances.  I have some friends.  I have a small group of people I love - a lot.  But I am not always connected to these people.  Not, at least, enough to pick up on the subtle cues and the unspoken.  To be honest, not all of "my people" really require me to be deeply engaged.  Beckett is just OUT THERE and you know what he is about without really trying very hard.  He's easy to read.  And Quinn is another one who is open and confident enough to just say what he thinks.  He's not manipulating the situation or looking for some ulterior motive.  He's Quinn and he's pretty perfect.  (BTW - WHOLE post is needed to talk about Quinn and wrestling season and freshman year and how dang proud I am of him...  but I'm saving that for another day...)

The other two boys are not so straight forward.  My oldest is hard for me to read.  And I mess up with him regularly.  He's actually far more sensitive than he seems - and far less likely to actually tell you what's going on in his head.  The benefit I have with Spencer is that I have a lot more practice with him.  And he's more mature and more capable than Zane.  So while Spencer and I clash more often than I'd like, I am pretty confident that he's gonna end up just fine!

Zane is really subtle and tricky and it's super easy to miss his cues.  If you just go about life and don't stop and proverbially smell the flowers, you will totally miss SO MUCH of Zane's personality.  Zane is in that phase where he's trying to figure out his crowd.  He is just on the verge (or maybe already into the shallow end) of the awkward social pecking order time of his life.  I know from my older guys that this is a really sucky time - but it passes and high school is SO much better!  Given that Zane doesn't often let anyone into what's really going on in his head, I worry about helping him through this phase.  We'll do it, but I know it won't be easy with him for 2 reasons.  One - he overthinks everything.  He thinks through all the possible situations and comes up with alternate scenarios and outcomes.  He does this with everything.  His mind is truly impressive.  The second reason this will be hard on him is that he's actually really sensitive and needs far more reassurance than I'm used to given - and have needed to give to his brothers.  He needs more comfort and confirmation of security.  He needs to know he's OK and he belongs.

He needs frequent hugs!

For anyone who's been reading these weekly updates for a while, you may remember what happened with we first moved Zane out of the security of a crib to the freedom of a toddler bed.  For months he slept UNDER the bed with a vast collection of stuffed friends and blankets barricading him in so that you couldn't even see him.  He was perfectly happy in that cave for a long time.  It provided him with comfort and security.

Through the years this need to feel safe and secure could be seen in the fact that he almost always wants a good long snuggle when he wakes up - from his bed that is covered with stuffed friends.  Recently he has convinced Beckett that they should move all of their friends and blankets and pillows into their closet every weekend so they can sleep, together, surrounded by fluff and plush and softness.  They make a giant mess, but have a great time.  And I don't mind any of this because I know this cozy little cave that they build fulfills something that Zane needs to feel settled.  

I hope I can stay close enough to Zane to stay tuned into what's behind some of his odd behavior.  I hope I always remember to look beyond the obvious and try to understand what's going on with him.  

I hope I am always around to give him hugs.

Picture of the Week - 10/18/2018

Tomorrow Beckett turns 7!

It's so cliche for me to say that I can't believe he's been around for 7 years, but it's also so true.  He feels like he's always been here!  It seems like he's always been sitting at the chair in our kitchen eating dry cereal or sausage pancake on a stick (with the stick removed and cut into pieces).  

It seems like he's always been at Zane's side and always contributed to the impressive noise level in our house.

And then I stop and actually look at him and realize that he's definitely NOT the same boy he was even a few months ago - and definitely not the mellow, laid back baby we first brought home 7 years ago.  Once upon a time, Beck was super content to sit and watch what was going on around him.  Little did we know that he was really just filing away ideas for future chaos in his mind.  

Beckett has recently gone through a big growth spurt.  He's outgrown all his summer PJs and every pair of pants we've tried since the weather finally turned cool enough for pants last week.  We laugh every night when he squeezes into those PJ tops with a strip of his belly showing all the way around.  (Mental note - definitely time to do the closet purge!)

Beck has always been the most athletically coordinated of our boys.  Who knows if this will translate to athletic success as he gets older.  It will definitely depend on how much he wants to work to get better, but the deck is stacked in his favor.  He's sturdy and smart on a football field.  He's a natural lefty on the lacrosse field, a big benefit for an attackman.  And he's vicious and fearless and quick on a wrestling mat.  He'll be pretty fun to watch over the coming years.  Oh and he taught HIMSELF how to ride a bike without training wheels this year.  Classic 4th kid thing to do...

Our darling, sweet youngest child is kind of a hellion at school.  He's not super prone to wanting to listen to directions or settle down and work quietly.  He's not shy about displaying his displeasure at being told what to do and has shared his feelings in some interesting (and appalling to me) ways.  We have talked to his teacher, the counselor, etc.  They all love him, but suggest that he's being held back by his behavior issues.  My mom gut tells me it's a phase and he will grow out of it - just like Quinn did.  I refuse to medicate him and really don't want to crush his spirit in the process of trying to get him to learn when it's appropriate to sit on the circle on the floor.  It's a delicate balance that I'm hoping we will master soon!  Things do get better most weeks with the occasional two steps forward, one step back and since he's mastering pretty much all of the 1st grade standard work and reading on nearly a 3rd grade level already, I'm not super stressed about this.  It's just one of those things that makes you question all the parenting abilities I think I have after tackling this job for the last 16 years.  

I can't really describe accurately how much I love any of my boys, but this one is especially difficult to describe.  He is not only a super cool dude in his own right, but he's made our family OUR family.  He's filled in a hole that I don't think we even knew we had with his special and unique personality.  He stretches us at the exact same time he soothes us.  He's one of my very favorite people in the whole wide world and I can't wait to see what this year brings for him!  

Happy 7th birthday Beckett!

Picture of the Week - 10/11/2018

I love October!  

I love the events that happen in October and the weather in October and the swap to soup for dinner and sweatshirts on Saturdays.  Such a fun time of year!

This October, like ones before it and more to come, is full of football.  We have 4 games a week - give or take a game.  Last week was a SUPER fun football week!  Spencer had a really great JV game on Thursday night.  He had a bunch of important tackles - including a solo killer tackle on about the 3 yard line just before halftime, a sack on the quarterback and a fumble recovery.  Beckett was up next on Saturday morning with his coach (who happens to be married to me!) and his team brought home a big win with Beck scoring a touchdown and 2 extra point conversions.  Beck is the first Bovy boy to even score in a tackle football game!  We wrapped up Saturday with Zane's team winning too!  Zane is playing Center this year and had a great game.  He also got to play on the d-line and had a handful of tackles (against some gigantic kids) late in the game.  Fun stuff!

Here are some fun football pictures.  The ones of Spencer are the series of shots of his sack.  And the others are from the football photographer this season.  He makes the boys put on "game faces" which always make me laugh.  

Have a great October week everyone!  I'm traveling (for the first time in a while) next week and kinda dreading it.  I've really enjoyed my time home the last couple of months.  

Picture of the Week - 10/4/2018

I know lots and lots of people who say that the fall is their favorite time of the year.  I think it's mine too!  Although I do love something about all the seasons, so it's hard to say that just one is my favorite.

Fall is the time of year that kicks off all our fun traditions.  We are creatures of habit and having these little consistencies year after year just makes things feel comfortable.  Am I right?

So many of our traditions include pictures.  I justify the drama these sometimes cause with the knowledge that someday I will have these pictures to look back on and remember all these crazy, busy fall days where it's often impossible to stop and acknowledge all the awesomeness around us.  

Bob looked at me the other day and asked if I was planning to stop doing the birthday picture collages when the boys turned 18.  To be honest, I'd never really thought about it.  But yeah...  I guess I will.  I mean, once they are out of the house I don't suppose I'll really have so many pictures of them.  I guess that means I also only have a couple more years of all these traditions with the whole family.

Like Burt's Pumpkin Farm.  

I have pictures from Burt's EVERY SINGLE YEAR since Spencer was 1.  Those pictures chronicle the growth of our family from 3 to 4 to 6 - and I guess they are going to also capture the coming shrinking back down to 5 and then 4.  I am not sure I'm OK with that...  It's really the first time I've stopped to think about how daily life will change when Spencer (and then Quinn) leave.  I mean, we've talked about going to college and we've discussed who moves to what rooms.  We have sort of thought about the big stuff.  But not the "small" things...  and now suddenly these small things feel big.  I have 2 more Burt's trips with Spencer.  3 more Christmas's.  Sheesh...  talk about a gut punch!

So my goal is to not let these things sneak up on me.  I am thankful for the reminder that time is fleeting and these boys of ours will fly away before we know it - and before we are ready.

Spencer got his license today.  He's now legally able to drive solo - and with a family member in the car.  He has to wait 6 months before he can drive a non-family member around.  This is fine with me!  It still means he turns into an uber driver for his brothers!  (I'm probably more excited about that than I should be...)

Coming events...

- Tonight - Spencer JV football game

- Tomorrow - Spencer Varsity football game

- Saturday - Zane and Beck both have games again - and they are HOURS apart, which means I get to see both!  Yay!

- Quinn's fall lacrosse season really gets going this weekend too and he's got games every Saturday in October.  

Now if only the weather would catch up with the calendar and cool off...  it's supposed to be near 90 for the next 3 days.  I'm ready for jeans and sweatshirts instead of shorts and sweat for all these games!

Here's my favorite picture from this version of the Burt's trip.  And after contemplating on how quickly the next 2.5 years are going to go, I'm gonna treasure it for a long time!

Have a great week everyone!