Picture of the Week - 9/28/2017

Tomorrow is Zane's 8th birthday!  

I have really enjoyed getting to know this handsome blonde dude this year.  He's developing his own little personality and it's pretty amazing to watch.  I think he tends to surprise us more than the big boys have.  Just when I think I've got him figured out, he shares another quirk all his own.

Zane is a thinker.  He thinks everything through.  And then some.  I would say that being a thinker first (as opposed to action first) is a good thing about 90% of the time.  

One thing that he's far better at than his older brothers is imaginative play with action figures.  He's always played well with action sets.  The storylines and games he plays are complex and intricate - and you better believe there are rules involved.  Do not break the rules.  Rule breakage leads to a bad scene!

I think one of the areas that Zane struggles most with is related to the fact that he thinks through situations and feels like he's got the best plan forward.  This is awesome - and should keep him out of lots of trouble - but it also makes dealing with change very difficult.  He still has problems when unexpected things happen or he's surprised by some reaction.  He's much better at these things than he used to be - and maturity will continue to help I'm sure.

Speaking of maturity, Zane's sense of humor has gotten so much funnier this year!  He's got a quick wit and is very dry.  Some of the stuff he says is just plain funny!  I was trying to take a picture of something a few weeks ago and I couldn't find a place to take the picture with a decent backdrop.  I tried to use the table, but the table was REALLY dirty (like 4 boys live here dirty) so I made a comment about not being able to find a clean spot to use.  Zane looked a me and said, "You should just take a picture of the table and say 'boys'."  He was completely deadpan serious.  It cracked me up for days.

In sports, being a thinker first has both pros and cons.  On the con side, he tends to come across as overly cautious when he's learning something new.  I actually remember thinking this about Spencer too.  Like our oldest, Zane seems hesitant to try new things until he's sure he can master them.  Like riding a bike...  he used training wheels far longer than he probably needed them, but wouldn't let us take them off until Beck took his off. 

There are also lots of times when being a thinker is a benefit in sports.  On the football field, he does what he's told to do, pretty much every time.  He doesn't forget.  He doesn't flake.  He just does his job.  He's not flashy in any way, but he's very reliable.  And that makes him an asset on just about every team.  In Jiu Jitsu, he watches - like a hawk - the more experienced kids in the group.  Sensei has to remind him regularly that he should be focused on his group.  But then when he does get a chance to try the more advanced stuff, he picks up the techniques super quickly because he's watched and learned over the previous sessions.  

Knowing that Zane analyzes things and "lives" in his head leads to people making assumptions about him.  Bob and I have done it ourselves, so trust me, I know it's easy to do.  He's a really bright kid.  I think he's likely the most intellectually gifted of our boys.  We let him play sports and expose him to athletic activities, but never really had very high expectations of what he would accomplish.  Shame on us...  We've consistently underestimated this area of his abilities.  I suppose we get to continue to learn from our kids and need reminders that we certainly don't know it all!  The biggest surprise this year has happened with Jiu Jitsu.  We signed the little boys up for classes over the summer to try it out since we didn't have anything else going on.  Zane has fallen in love with the sport.  As in, he looks forward to going every time.  We knew he'd DO it.  We didn't think he'd LIKE it.  And we never expected he'd LOVE it.  

I think part of the reason he likes it so much is because he gets to do it with Beckett.  Those 2 boys have the best relationship!  I love it.  They argue occasionally.  Sometimes things get ugly.  But I would say that the vast majority of the time they are more friends than foes.  Jiu Jitsu is something those two get to do together that the big boys don't do.  They are learning things that they know Spencer and Quinn don't know.  And I think it's made them love the sport - and respect each other - more because it's special for them. Someday they won't have to share a room and they won't ride the same bus to school and they will have different friends and (maybe) different interests, but for now, they are kind of the textbook description of BROTHERS.

I'm excited to see what's in store for Zane this year.  He's probably going to get braces.  He's going to finish this football season, move up to U9 in lacrosse, start another football season and do WHO KNOWS WHAT in Jiu Jitsu.  He's learning more and more at school and enjoying all of it.  I'm sure he will continue to mentor the little guy that looks up to him daily while also modeling himself on what he sees in his big brothers.  In some ways I think Zane's position in our family is the luckiest one of all the boys - and also possibly the trickiest.  He's sandwiched in between all kinds of awesome.  If he didn't have a strong personality, it would be possible for him to get overlooked and lost in the shuffle.  Luckily for Zane - and really for all of us - he's a pretty awesome dude.  Smart.  Funny.  Handsome.  And all ours to enjoy and love!  

I wish the happiest of birthdays to our sweet Zane.  I can't wait to have an 8 year old in the house again!

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We are finishing up fall break tomorrow and looking forward to a really nice, relaxing weekend - and birthday cake!  Today we went on the annual Burt's Pumpkin Farm trip (look for pictures soon) and tomorrow we are updating our family portraits.  It's been a lovely, low stress week!  On Monday we hit the ground running for 3 straight weeks of all out crazy chaos.  Then fall sports start wrapping up and we start gearing up for the holidays.  Goodness...  where has this year gone???

Cheers!

Picture of the Week - 9/21/2017

It's birthday season in the Bovenizer house!  Spencer kicks things off next Wednesday when he turns 15.  So cliche...  but so crazy to believe he's 15.

I know it's perfectly normal for parents to be ridiculously proud of their kids.  I know it's also perfectly normal for those same ridiculously proud parents to also, at times, be disappointed, furious, confused, and oblivious.  So I know we're all perfectly normal!  :)  

Spencer has had a big year.  Lots of stuff has happens to him, for him, with him since his last birthday.  

Shortly after his last birthday he won a middle school football championship for a team that he (and I) adored.  He was a leader on that team, both on and off the field.  In the post-season banquet the coaches spent more time talking about his attitude and work ethic than they talked about the fact that he was only half a tackle away from breaking the school's all-time tackle record - despite missing 3 whole games through the season.  He handled himself - through both the challenges and the successes - on that team in a way that I could brag about for days.  He impressed me.  And my standards are pretty high...

That football experience bolstered his confidence, his social standing (lets be honest, football players are viewed differently in the school hallways), and his reputation as a hard worker and reliable teammate.  The season also left us with a healthcare mess.

Spencer tore the labrum in his right shoulder in the championship game.  He injured it again playing lacrosse.  And again working out.  He ended up with surgery in January and a strict "no activity" plan for months.  It was a full 6 months before he was back to normal.  He missed an entire wrestling season.  He missed an entire lacrosse season.  For someone who placed so much value on physical activity and leading on a team, this was a serious blow.  I had some significant concerns that he would, for lack of a better way of putting it, wither.  I worried he'd be depressed.  Worried he'd lose the special fire that was in him the previous season.  I worried more about his mental health than the status of the healing shoulder.

And you know what?  Once again, that child impressed me.  He accepted the "hand that was dealt him" and didn't just get through it - he thrived through it. 

Instead of being able to wrestle, he became the program's biggest marketer.  He talked up the value of wrestling for success in other sports.  Teammates from his football team joined.  His brother joined.  He supported the program by believing in the process enough to "sell it".  

Instead of being able to play lacrosse, he coached it.  How cool is that?  A 14 year old willing to spend time with a bunch of 1st graders to help them learn a sport he loves.  Impressive...  (Aside - I thought this was a time-filler while he was unable to play, but he's already asked me what team he'll be assigned to this spring.  Awesome attitude and willingness to "give back"!)

I would love to say that while he had some downtime he focused on his schoolwork and killed the 8th grade, but the reality is that he didn't have much downtime because he insisted on going to all the practices and supporting his teams from the sidelines.  He did fine in his schoolwork.  Better than average, but not to the potential I think he could have performed.  Once he got his freshman year class recommendations (which included all the honors/AP classes he was eligible to take) he realized that no one was ever going to look at his 8th grade transcripts.  Hard to argue with that...

So he focused instead on his social network and in making some really great friends.  This includes his first "real" girlfriend and his first official school formal.  Both of these things make me gasp just a bit because they are some significant milestones and things I distinctly remember from my own adolescence.  

Starting High School is another of those big milestones.  Going from a "king of the hill" 8th grader to a freshman is pretty hard.  Certainly an adjustment period.  Once again - I'm impressed with how Spencer has handled this.  He tackles new situations with a level of confidence I wish I had.  He's got quite a lot of "I'll figure it out" in him and a really nice compliment of common sense to go along with it.  He has had some bumps - both in football and in classes.  Things haven't been smooth sailing for him, but they sure could be worse!  

He has learned (I think/hope/pray) that there are times it's important to humble yourself and ask for help.  He's dealt with some misunderstandings based purely on the fact that he's not communicated well.  He's accepted that.  And by all appearances, because goodness knows he doesn't share nearly as many details as I want about what's going on with his life, he's corrected some situations that could have gone off the rails.

Spencer has been surprised by the difficulty of high school courses.  I feel for him because his schedule is almost as difficult as it could possibly be for a freshman.  There's a math class above the one he's in, but everything else he's "maxed out" and it's a hard schedule.  Also, he's never really had to work very hard in the past, so I'm not convinced he really knew how to study and prepare.  He's figuring it out and I'm pretty confident that we "caught" the grade-slide early enough that he can work himself out of the hole he dug.  This topic has been the source of many discussions lately!  Instead of shutting down, making excuses, giving up - he's working to fix things - and making some big improvements.  There's still work to do...  but his attitude about it is (almost always) impressive.

Figuring out how to focus his time and energy to meet his goals is going to be really important as we move into his 15th year.  He's got some very lofty goals - and a very limited amount of time.  He's got a truck to rebuild and the clock is ticking to figure out how to get it done on his budget before he turns 16.  He's very motivated - and I've not really seen him fail at something that he's this passionate about so I have every expectation he will drive that truck on his 16th birthday.  

He's also focused on making the most of his "student athlete" status.  He's playing football, fall lacrosse, wrestling, and spring lacrosse.  He works out nearly every day.  He's politely disagreeing with all the people who say that it's time to select one sport and specialize.  He's modeling himself to athletes who have had very successful careers "doing it all".  He may be trying to put us in the poor house with all the registration fees and all the equipment needs, but I will support him in this goal for as long as it's important to him.  He's an impressive kid and I have vowed not to do anything that somehow artificially limits what appears to be an unlimited potential in him.

Looking back over the last 12 months, Spencer has taken up a huge amount of our time and thoughts and energy.  He's had more ups and downs - and certainly more transitions - than the rest of the family combined.  I've probably spent more time talking about and thinking about and praying about our oldest boy than I have his brothers.  I'm unapologetic about this fact.  He's through the transitions.  He's settling in.  He's poised for great things and prepared (or at least preparing) to continue to be impressive.  He needed a lot of parenting this year.  I expect that was the pinnacle with him.  I know there will continue to be lessons we teach him and things he needs from us, but I expect our "heavy lifting" with him is mostly past us.  

I don't say this in a naive way where I think everything going forward will be unicorns and rainbows.  I say this because I know that he's more man than child now.  I say this because I know he knows right from wrong.  I say this because he's impressive as his own person.  And I am ridiculously proud of that person!  

I wish Spencer the happiest of birthdays next Wednesday and can't wait to see what this year brings.  I think we will kick things off with a trip to the DMV for his driver's permit and then a stop for birthday brunch.

Tonight Spencer has a football game, then Zane has one on Saturday morning and then we kick off a blissfully slow "fall break" week!  Stay tuned for more birthday tributes and some fun pictures from Burt's Pumpkin Farm 2017 coming soon!!

Picture of the Week - 9/14/2017

Hi everyone!

This sure has been a strange week!  Not bad (for us) but just different.  

We didn't have any damage from the hurricane/tropical storm - unless you consider the direct hit our pantry took...  but the kids were off school for 2 days.  I spent a lot of time watching coverage, praying for those impacted, and worrying.  What a mess.  There are people I work with who are still without power in Atlanta.  I can't even imagine being in the Florida Keys or Miami or Jacksonville.  

I feel almost bad sharing this, but the down time on Monday and Tuesday was actually kind of nice.  We didn't have sports.  The boys didn't have school work.  There were no social events.  It was just us.  At home.  Working with the kids all here can get a little dicey, but the evenings were kind of awesome!  I cooked.  We all sat down and ate together.  We had dessert!  There was no rushing around.  No splitting of taxi duties.  It was just good family time.  

I am still praying for all those impacted.  I'm working with one of our neighbors to gather recovery supplies to send to Texas and/or Florida.  I've made donations.  If any of you out there reading this have been impacted and there's anything we can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask.  I probably can't send you a peaceful meal (with pumpkin pie), but I'll do what I can!

Here are some recent pictures of Beckett.  These are completely unrelated to storm-forced downtime, but I haven't shared them before and they are cute.  It also reminds me that it's nearly birthday collage time.  I better get started on that!

Tonight is a "crazy Thursday".  They are so bad that they have a nickname.  But hey...  there are only 4 more crazy Thursdays - at least for this sport's season.  Spencer has a game.  The little guys both have practice.  Bob is doing the drop offs and then coming to the game to watch the first half before going back to do pick-ups.  Quinn has practice too and we've got a ride lined up for him.  Phew!

Tomorrow turned into a "crazy Friday" because we are in make-up mode from the missed practices earlier this week.  I'm working concessions at the high school game and Bob has youth football duty.  It's the first time (and probably the last) that Zane and Beck will be practicing on the same field at the same time.  Actually should be pretty fun!

Saturday the little guys have games in the AM and then Quinn has a lacrosse clinic in the afternoon run by the Ga Tech coaches.  We'll be ready to chill out and watch the Buckeyes again by Saturday afternoon!  

Have a great week everyone!

Picture of the Week - 9/7/2017

So I thought it might be kind of fun to share how my day went today.  This is not because I'm whining about it.  Actually, it was a pretty OK day.  This is more just so that someday my boys might read this and realize that we were really busy!

• 4:40 - My alarm went off (I set it so I can snooze a bit...)
• 5:55 - Out the door and into "my" pickup truck - which I don't like...  at all
• 7:07 - arrive in my office and find that the HR lady who shares my office when I'm not there beat me to work and was in my spot.  Despite my name being on the plate on the door, I still felt guilty that I made her go back to her cube.
• Series of meetings - none of which all that interesting - including a meeting straight through lunch - ending with a customer call in which I thought I'd be there for morale support and to answer the odd question and ended up speaking, almost exclusively, for around 75 minutes.  Not what I expected...  sometimes it's good to be able to virtually tap dance!
• 3:36 - leave the office, knowing that I've missed the window that minimizes the traffic home
• 4:56 - walk in the door after dealing with super frustrating traffic.  Maybe it's extra people from the Florida and Georgia evacuations.  Maybe it's just a busy traffic day, but it was a LOT of cars to deal with!  Thank goodness Bob had dinner ready because I was a good 45 minutes later than I wanted to be getting home.
• 5:10 - load Beckett and Zane into the big car (cause I'm not voluntarily driving the pick-up around all evening!) and take them to Midway Park.
• 5:20 - remind Beckett's coach that I'm having to do a "drop and run" which they really don't like you to do with 5 year olds...  because I'm on taxi duty...  and then squeeze Beck into his pads
• 5:40 - leave Beck and head to the other side of Midway to drop off Zane.  Again explain the "drop and run" requirement.  Squeeze Zane into his pads
• 6:10 - leave Zane and head home to get Quinn
• Spent 20 minutes watching the news to see what's going on with the hurricane.  I may be addicted to Hurricane coverage.  I'm horrified at the mess Harvey left and worried about all the destruction coming with Irma is going to cause.  What a mess! 
• 6:25 - leave with Quinn to go to his lacrosse practice at Sawnee Mt Park
• 6:50 - leave Quinn as soon as the coach arrives at the field and head back to Midway
• Spend 15 minutes staring into the sun while Beckett's team finishes practice and runs sprints
• 7:05 - load Beck into the car after stripping him out of sweaty pads and head back up to Zane's field
• Spend the next hour alternating between watching Zane, chatting with some friends, and trying to locate Beckett, who kept disappearing.  Pleasant evening at this point - aside from staring into the blinding sun.
• 8:05 - attempt to leave Midway Park only to spend the next 15 minutes in traffic.  Seriously - where are all these people going and why aren't they at home?  Oh right...  they are probably out schlepping kids to and from a wide variety of "stuff"
• 8:20 - arrive at the high school to wait for Spencer to arrive (via bus) from his away football game.  Worth noting at this point that Bob spent the evening at the game (not just ignoring me and the taxi duties) and by this point had left the football game and was at Sawnee Mt to collect Quinn
• Spend the next 25 minutes with the little boys, who by this time were overtired and hungry, literally BOUNCING around the car.  Windows down.  LOUD.  They were, honestly, completely incapable of sitting still for more than about 14 seconds.  Those 25 minutes wrecked my nerves way worse the Atlanta rush hour traffic - even WITH the accident and flashing lights and Waze-suggested detour.
• 8:47 - Spencer arrives in the car and immediately stinks up the whole place.  Boy stink is bad.  Post-football game boy stink is REALLY bad...
• 9:02 - arrive home and pour myself a fancy plastic Tervis Tumbler full of my favorite wine while the boys eat a very nutritious second dinner of Tostinos pizza rolls. 
• It's now 9:29 and I'm wrapping up this POTW, which I love writing, but does occasionally add a bit of stress to my "to do" list.  Next stop is pajamas, finishing my fancy glass of wine, and curling up for another episode of Game of Thrones.  (Another week I will have to share the strange path Bob and I have taken to get to the final season of GoT.  It involves starting with actually reading the books and ends with us trying to remember, after each episode, whether THAT actually happened in the books or not.  The discussions are nearly as entertaining as the actual show.)

BTW - Spencer won his game 35-0.  His team is stacked.  These boys are going to be SUPER fun to watch for the next 4 years.  The head varsity coach has come to both the Freshmen games instead of the JV games.  I think he's looking forward to watching this guys for the next 4 years too!

Zane and Beck both have games this Saturday at 9 am.  It's a divide-and-conquer Saturday morning.  Not my favorite, but it DOES mean we will be done with our commitments by early afternoon!

Have a great week everyone - if you are in Irma's path, stay safe!  That storm is nothing to mess with...

Cheers!