No better way to say it than to just say it. I was laid off. And it's been a pretty crazy week because of that, very unexpected, news.
Let's be honest, no one ever wants to hear that they are being cut from an organization. It's not pleasant. It's especially not pleasant when you have spent years busting your hiney for that organization.
So yeah, there's definitely some bitterness about this entire situation.
BUT (and please know that this is not just empty platitudes)
This is a blessing. An answered prayer. It's the push I needed to get myself back on track.
I've been trying to make the best of a job situation that I haven't been truly happy with in years. There's a reason I was on a mission of gratitude all summer - it was to try to convince my own self to see the good in a bunch of situations that I didn't love and wasn't happy about. And it really IS possible to see good in just about any situation. (Job loss included...)
I have always hated traveling. I don't like being away from the comfortable and the known... and yet, I got to SEE so much and DO so much because this job forced me into travel. Hard not to be grateful for those opportunities. And now I get some down time. I'm not naïve enough to think I'll never travel again, but I can pretty much guarantee that I won't be taking another job which requires multiple international trips each year. Last year I traveled to the UK 9 times. That's too much and it was becoming too hard.
I didn't really want to go back to school. I didn't really feel like I needed another master's degree. I was grateful that I was chosen and would have done my very best to do my very best to finish the program. I met some great people and learned some important things. I am also so very relieved that I don't need to finish it. I sit here with a Financial Management assignment sitting in front of me that I no longer need to worry about. I don't need to read or study on weekend mornings any more. I've regained my free time.
I am sure that my crazy schedule and my utter stubbornness to keep on keeping on has had an impact on my boys. I am blessed that I have been able to role model what dedication in the face of challenges looks like, but I would be lying if I said that leaving them (over and over again) wasn't one of the hardest things my soul has ever had to endure. It sucked every single time. And as time went on it was getting harder and harder. No more. I am not going to miss another football game because I'm on an overnight flight to Scotland. I will be here for them - in the flesh.
And Bob... goodness I don't even know where to start. I would not - no way - have been able to do the last 4 years without Bob. He's taken the brunt of not only the extra work, but also my moods. He's listened to me complain about the job, the work, the travel, some of the people, and many unfortunate situations. He did nothing but support me. And I will be forever indebted to him for being an absolute superstar rock for me - and the boys. And you know what his first reaction was when this all happened, "Thank God! It's about time!"
I am not sad to be leaving this job. I won't miss the crazy politics. I won't miss the unreasonable demands on time and talent. I will miss some of the people. And I will walk away with the knowledge that if I had it to do all over again, there is VERY little I'd do differently. My head is high.
It was time for change and I very deeply believe that God answered prayers sent up on how to get out of the situation - in a slightly unusual way. He forced my hand - and I feel so blessed.
So it's onward and upward. Time to find a new job. No current imminent opportunities, but we are nearly at the top of Q4 and there's a LOT of work in this area. I am confident that I will be lead to a situation that's better for me and for my family. It's time to put my priorities back in the right order and to focus on the things that really matter.
If you happen to know of any Director level product management positions, please send them my way. In the meantime, say a prayer - not for a new job, but a prayer of thanks - of gratitude.
If you need me over the next couple of weeks, I'll be quilting or reading. Then Fall break and job hunt!
