Picture of the Week - 10/29/2020

 Having expectations is a recipe for disaster.

(And as a planner, this is something that is really hard for me to admit/learn/remember)

If 2020 has taught us NOTHING else, it's that things don't always (ever?) turn out the way we think they are going to.  Sometimes things are worse, but lots of times things are better.  

When I get caught up thinking about how something SHOULD be or how someone SHOULD act or what we SHOULD do, then I get flustered and disappointed when the picture in my head doesn't match reality.  Which is kind of dumb because reality is, well real, while the picture in my head is nothing but imagination.  Granted, this imagination is flavored with experience and knowledge and not fantasy...  but still, the point is the same.  If I have an expectation, the reality is not going to match (hardly ever) and then I am disappointed or flustered or whatever - instead of just being PRESENT to enjoy the actual moment.

Says easy, does hard sometimes...  but it's a process, an evolution, a journey.  I'm better at this now (by about a million percent) than I was 15 years ago.  Raising kids will do that to you!  

The annual trip to Burt's Pumpkin Farm is a really good illustration of an activity that I think we all have expectations built around because we've done it for 17 straight years.  We know the route to take, we know how long the drive is, we know when to go to avoid the crowds, we know what the hay ride is like, we know the story the talking pumpkins will tell on the mid-ride stop, we know we will overpay for pumpkins, and we know at least one boy will pick a tiny pumpkin that we will find around March in their room.  Experience tells us these things, so it's pretty easy to create an expectation from the day.

Then reality happens and you can either drop the expectation and enjoy the moment or dwell in the "loss" of whatever the day was "supposed" to look like because of an expectation that is, honestly, nothing but an imaginary dream.  

Our Burt's trip this year happened about a month later than normal because of all sorts of reasons - weather, trips, etc.  Also, it's 2020, so I don't know how/if Covid impacted their farm.  When we showed up, instead of seeing a field of different shapes and sizes of pumpkins, we saw mostly damp mulch and mud across the bulk of the empty field.  It was definitely not up to the ideal imaginary expectation - or even really on par with even our worst previous trip.  

We could have been disappointed and let it ruin our day.  Instead, we laughed.  

Because it was FUNNY!  We grabbed a few pictures, grabbed a few pumpkins, skipped the hay ride and headed back home.  It was definitely not the way I expected the day to go, but I think it's pretty safe to say that 2020 has taught us all to just roll with the punches and deal with whatever comes around the corner.  

2 months left, here's hoping November and December simmer down some!

This weekend we have playoff football games and then a Halloween block party thing before Trick-or-Treating.  

Also - Wrestling season started!!!  I'm so excited for this season.  It's such a great group of kids and the program is so much fun.  I really hope we get to have a season - and I'm trying hard not to have any expectations about what that might look like!  For now, I'm happy for every day my boys get to be on that mat!

Picture of the Week - 10/22/2020

 This year's version of the traditional O H I O picture is about 2 months later than it has been in years past.  This is because Covid changes everything!  But in this case, it's actually cool! 

We typically take this picture on our back deck or in the front yard or someplace else (in Georgia) that is obviously not connected with Ohio State.  This year, however, we had an opportunity to get some O H I O pictures ON the Ohio State campus while we were up there visiting a few weeks ago.  Thanks Covid!  I love the pictures!  :)

We are pretty excited to finally watch the Buckeyes play football this weekend, but we are also a little tempered in our anticipation because we have MANY things to do this weekend and will en up watching the game well after it's played thanks to the wonders of recording.  It will still be fun!

In other news...  

We celebrated Beckett's birthday this week.  He got pancakes for dinner - with marshmallows - and got to hand out cupcakes at football practice.  It was a good, albeit low-key, birthday.

Zane and Quinn are good!  Nothing super exciting happening with those dudes, but they are doing a really solid job of being easy and fun.  

Spencer and I went to the Citadel last Friday and he basically fell in love with Charleston and the college.  In one of those serendipitous timing things, his academic acceptance letter to attend the Citadel arrived while we were gone.  As his first official college acceptance, it was pretty special, but combined with a very enticing visit and tour, it became even more exciting.  We are still finishing up applications for a few other places and got word this week that his early decision application at the Coast Guard Academy is currently under review.  Hopefully he will have some difficult decisions to make about where to spend the next 4 years, but it's a really nice feeling to know that no matter what else happens, he has earned the opportunity to call himself a Citadel Bulldog.  

And yes, for anyone wondering, if he goes to the Citadel he is still planning to take a military route and will look to commission as an officer through one of the ROTC programs there - currently leaning Marines, but this tends to change pretty regularly and may be swayed by scholarship offerings.  Luckily for him (and us) he has a very strong scholarship-competitive resume and topped it off recently by scoring a 1420 on the SAT.  (There's no way for me to share that without sounding like I'm bragging...  but I *am* quite proud of him for it!)

I hope you are all enjoying the switch to cooler weather.  It's been quite warm in Georgia the last couple of weeks, but the humidity is gone and it's been beautiful.  I love this time of year - and not only because I seem to be surrounded by birthday cake for a month straight!

Here's our 2020 version of the O H I O picture in front of the Ohio Stadium rotunda.  Pretty cool!

Picture of the Week - 10/15/2020

 Sometimes I worry a little about Beckett because he's the youngest in our family.  By the very nature of going through all the milestones and stages last, he runs the risk of not being treated with equal excitement and enthusiasm.  Honestly, we've been there and done that.  It's really hard to get AS excited for the 4th first lost tooth, the 4th first day of kindergarten, the 4th first football game.  You get the idea.  

In a very real way perspective, which I view as a powerful and positive weapon to have in our arsenal, also has a downside for the baby of the family.  I feel like our highs aren't quite as high for him.  We've leveled out some.  

But then I stop and think a little more critically about Beckett the BOY, not Beckett the birth order, and I realize that there's nothing at all to worry about.  Yes, it's very true that Bob and I have changed as parents since our first time through this process, but honestly I don't think any amount of preparation or experience could really prepare us for Bucky.  God knew exactly what he was doing by gifting him to a pair of boy-veterans. We know (a wee bit) more about what scenarios we need to sit up and pay attention to and which ones can come in one ear and out the other.  I'm guessing Beckett's teachers may not appreciate this laid back attitude we have about reports that he won't sit still in class or talks in the hallway.  We know these things will pass with maturity.  But the tattle-tale report from a brother that he was being mean to a neighbor - even if it was during play - that one needs to be dealt with promptly.  So yeah...  both Beckett and his parents are better off having some experience during his formative years!

Beckett is a crafty and intelligent child - who often puts both of these traits to action in trying to get away with something or convince us that he should get whatever it is he's asking for.  This can be a snack, a computer game, a privilege, a pony, etc.  He's relentless in his pursuit of whatever it is he thinks will make him happy. Right now that is kind of exhausting, but I really think he's developing a personality and behavioral way about him that will serve him quite well as an adult.  He could be an amazing salesman because the child literally will not take no for an answer.  And half the time even when we think we are saying "no" he has somehow managed to get what he wants!

I speak of him as if he's a spoiled brat.  He IS spoiled...  not going to try to avoid that one, but he's not a brat.  People like Beckett.  He has a LOT of friends.  He's fun to be around and enjoys playing all sorts of stuff.  He has this thing he does where he plays a game on the computer - like Roblox - and at the same time he has his ipad in his lap watching something on youtube or disney or netflix or whatever.  This dual input would give me a killer headache, but he does it ALL the time.  He's wired to be able to handle these dual inputs and he picks up bits of info along the way.  Recently I've realized he knows a lot about a lot of things that I had no idea he had been exposed to!  (And no, not all of these are "proud mom" topics...)

Beckett is a handful - always has been.  But goodness gracious is he also a heart-full.  He is so full of life and love that I can't imagine our family without him.  He finished us, but he also completed us.  He adores his brothers - each in their own ways.  Zane is literally his best friend - the classic brother relationship in every way - the play, fighting, competing, confiding...  all of it!  Beckett and Quinn probably spend the least amount of time together, but he loves riding in Quinn's jeep and he knows that Quinn will play fun music and goof around with him.  Beckett and Spencer, that's a pretty special relationship for sure.  Spencer is coaching Beck's football team this year, so they spend a lot of time together.  Beckett views Spence as a second father-figure and also the subject of utter "hung-the-moon" awe.  It makes him so happy to "show off" his biggest brother to his football friends.  I think Beck will really miss Spencer next year - even if he is counting the days until he moves out so he can get his own bedroom!

It's hard to believe it's been 9 years (on Monday) since Beckett joined us.  Time truly flies.  He's going to have a great year - and I couldn't be more proud and blessed to get to hang alongside him for the wild ride.  Happiest of 9th Birthdays Bucky!  

**********

In other news...

- Quinn went to his first college visit yesterday.  We went up to Cleveland, Ga, which is about an hour north of our house in the North Georgia mountains.  It's actually where Zane and Beckett go to summer camp.  We visited Truett McConnell university, which is a small Christian college.  It was so nice and they were all SO kind.  Quinn couldn't have had a better first college visit!

- Today Spencer and I drove over to Charleston, SC and tomorrow we will be touring The Citadel.  Spencer has applied there and we may have an admission decision from them in the next couple of weeks as they do a rolling admissions.  We are both looking forward to seeing the campus after walking around downtown Charleston this evening.  

- After our tour tomorrow, we are driving up to Kingsport, TN where we will meet up with Quinn and the rest of the wrestling team for a dual tournament on Saturday.  Then back home for a day of rest before starting another week!

- Zane has a football game on Saturday, but Beck has a bye week.  

- Next week we have parent teacher conferences and it's a short week for the boys.  The weather should be ideal for kicking them outside to play while we work!

Picture of the Week - 10/8/2020

 We are taking a short breather between fall birthday celebrations, so I thought it would be a good time to show off Zane and Beckett's (and Bob too) football pictures.  Aren't they cute!  And yes, Zane was badly sunburned with a farmer's tan for photo day!  LOL  

This week...  let's see...  

- Spencer is attending an "athletes only" Cadet for a Day program at the Coast Guard Academy.  It's only slightly irritating that he would be there in person if not for Covid...  so he'll make the best of the experience through the screen.

- This weekend we have football games in different parks at different times - so divide and conquer.  It's actually probably one of the worst schedules we have all season - which really just means we got really lucky with our schedule this year.  Also, yet another tropical storm coming through here starting tomorrow.  It's been a WET year!

- We are supposed to go to the annual Burt's trip on Sunday, but something tells me the weather is going to change our plans.  I fear for that tradition this year as we are running out of time and free days!

I hope you are all well and staying positive.  2020, in my opinion, remains "heavy" so be sure to be grateful and not dwell in the mess.  In spite of all the challenges, there are really good things all around every day!

Picture of the Week - 10/1/2020

 Zane turned 11 on Tuesday.  We celebrated with cupcakes and ravioli (his favorite, which he eats strangely without sauce) and have a birthday party with some of his buddies this weekend.  

11 years old is one of those "sweet spot" years.  (I think the same about 5 year-olds.)  Zane is smart (more on this later) and funny (more on this later) and not yet into that pre/early teen moodiness.  He enjoys hanging out with us and talking to us (mostly about football and madden and other things he knows WAY more about than me).  He's generally just an EASY kid and a pleasure to be around!  Seriously!  There were many days over the last 6 months where he saved my sanity - and he is a superstar remote learner!

I mentioned that Zane is smart and funny - but those adjectives don't really cover it.  I've talked in the past about the unique way Zane's mind works.  He is very very bright - and I say this after raising some other really smart kids.  Zane just processes on another level.  He's definitely smarter than me - which fills me with both pride and a little terror.  Pointed in a positive direction, the sky is the limit.  But if he goes off-course, he's going to be a hacking millionaire mastermind leading dubious entities for nefarious goals.  LOL  I kid...  sort of...

I also stated above that Zane is funny, which is very true, but when you combine his biting sense of humor with the fact that he's often one of the smartest people in the room, his humor can be quite caustic!  He doesn't always find the balance between making someone laugh and just being mean - bright side, a good portion of his quick, one-liners go over the head of the target because of both content and the extraordinarily dry delivery.  Maybe he will be a comic when he grows up... 

If you ask Zane what he wants to do as a career, he will tell you he's going to be in the NFL.  It's actually refreshing to see a little dude who loves a sport so much that he wants to turn it into a career - however unlikely.  I'll not be bursting his bubble any time soon - the world will do that it time and for now I love that the boy can dream.

Speaking of dreams...  Zane STILL spends a lot of time alone in his own head.  He's always done this.  It's in his personality.  He likes his alone time and he likes the process of creating.  He would be mortified to know that I'm sharing that he still plays make-believe (regularly).  He makes up elaborate games with his stuffed friends, sometimes Beckett, sometimes his friends outside, sometimes a football, sometimes nothing more than some room to run and a little fresh air.  Oh, and he's ALWAYS in charge.  

I'm really enjoying the process of raising this interesting young man.  I love that he's about to blossom both physically and emotionally.  He's off to middle school next year and I think he's going to thrive!  11 is going to be a good year for Zane!

*******************

This weekend we have more football games - and got really lucky with both the schedule and the weather.  We have a 10:30 and a 1:00 at the same park - which makes for a lengthy day, but both Bob and I will get to see both boys - which is often not the case.  AND bonus that it's supposed to be textbook "chamber of commerce" weather in Georgia this weekend.  Cool and crisp and perfect for a day of football - and probably sunburns.  

Then Saturday night Beck's football team is doing a big community sleep out in one of the local neighborhoods - coaches Bob and Spencer are going too.  And Zane has a birthday party sleepover too.  If I can keep Quinn from making social plans (unlikely) I will get a Quinn date.  Worst case, I get a Saturday night alone at home.  :)